Saturday, October 20, 2007

Food for Thought

Yesterday, Ryan and I happened to be "lunching" with friends at the same time. We thought it would be fun to do some compare and contrast.

Where:

J--McDonald's playland. Decibels at unhealthy levels. We tried moving to a different spot, so we wouldn't have to yell at each other while we ignored our kids, but it didn't help much.

R--Spokane Subs ... apparently a very Christian establishment, I gathered from the plethora of crosses and John 3:16 citations on the walls, shirts, & necks of those in the building. Noisiest part of the restaurant was the four of us as we laughed our heads off.

Invitation:

J--standing. Every Friday at 11:30ish, unless our kids are out of school, because then it gets too pricey.

R--Ours is a bi-monthly quest. Every other Friday we are on a mission to determine where the best burger in Spokane is. It was my week to choose a restaurant, and I like sandwiches better than burgers, so I guess the quest got put on hold this week.

Number of kids present:

J--13.

R--There were only four of us this week (poor turnout), but Patrick and Aric (I don't know why they spell it that way in N. Dakota) were in suits so maybe we can count them as adults. But if I don't count as an adult then Aric definitely shouldn't. (J "it would have been funnier if he'd just said 0.")

Menu:

J--With so many yummy choices, we don't know where to start. The Grilled Chicken with the mayo scraped off? The Salads, where you have to every time ask them to put something on they forgot? Of course, there's the fry-stealing (so we can pretend we didn't actually eat them.) And lots of Diet Coke.

R--Sub sandwiches. (It would be funnier if she'd not try to control me and let you all know what would be funnier in her mind.)

Interruptions:

J--Uncountable. Noteworthy: one kid having to be pulled off a stranger's kid, the screaming party that went on in the bubble above our heads as the kids realized how echoey and loud it is up there, a toddler falling from the high chair he was crawling on, and, our playdate is never complete without: the 4 year old wetting her pants.

R--WAIT A MINUTE!!! I see where this is going. She's trying to turn this into a pity party about how us guys just lounge around in our cushy lives while the ladies have to deal with unreasonable, ungrateful, unmanageable little monsters in their mired lives. (Were you hoping I would just type zero here???)

Topics of Conversations:
J-- (seems a little defensive, huh? Thou dost protest too much...)
  • whether to have one more kid, or "how you knew you were done."
  • what great deals we got on the kids' clothes.
  • how ONE MOTHER HAS DECIDED TO FORGO INTERNET AND CABLE...this took a lot of time to understand.
  • how to get 3 year olds to nap ( I just sleep with mine) and go to co-op preschool
  • the merits of Pilates vs. Pump class at the local gym
  • blogging
  • hair

R--(Methinks she forgot the methinks)

  • Various tactics employed to delay or completely avoid having "just one more." (Jessica just pointed out that no one brought up the most biologically sound way to avoid having one more ... oh no.)
  • Indirect ways that our wives try to get us to go to the gym without coming out and just saying what they mean.
  • Adam instituted a new system for approximating the reliability of the information he was disseminating. He would conclude each story or statement with something like "I am 60% sure that is true."
  • A clogged sweat gland (this one was rated as 80% reliable) that got as big as a large grape and how many kneads were required to drain the "sucker" as well as a sub-discussion revolving around the actual intent of the owner of said gland, when he took off his shirt to get an opinion from another one of our wives since she has a background in nursing.
  • City Council Drama (Patrick is on the council)
  • Young Mens stories (Aric and Adam work with the YM in our ward)
  • A couple other topics that have been censored to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Using your comparing and contrasting skills ...which lunch would you rather have attended?

(OH REAL FAIR! ... we all know that this blog is read by an audience which is 98% female and 2% male)

19 comments:

day in the life of a prince said...

Duh!! Of course McDonalds! If the men only knew what they were really missing out on! Unfortunately I think the men would think our lunch date was torture in some form!!

Paige said...

Pump class? I'm stuck on the pump class. I need more info.

Ryan, nice try but you shouldn't be lunching anyway. You should be working through lunch so you can hurry home an hour early so you can relieve your wife so she can dedicate herself more fully to blogging.

Jill said...

McDonalds hands down! ha ha. I am intrigued by these conversations: ONE MOTHER HAS DECIDED TO FORGO INTERNET AND CABLE, and how to get 3 year olds to nap. I would love to hear the answers to those for sure!!! Funny funny post.

Kenny, Linsey and Caleb said...

At the risk of being disloyal to my gender, I'm going to have to go with Ryan's lunch on this one - however, that is only because I have had exactly one sub sandwich in the last 13 months (in Argentina while visiting Adrianne - they have Subway!) and they are one of my favorite things to lunch on.

Erika said...

Ryan - see you next Friday. A kidless lunch - I'll talk about sweat glands for that.

John Holly Levi & Faith said...

I'm thinkin' McDonalds. Body pump totally rocks. I wish I could go like I used to. I think I would have loved that conversation even amid all the noise, the echoing and the 4 year old wetting. It's still out with the gals.

Carie said...

Can you vote conversation/company at McDonalds but food at the Sub place?

Ellie said...

I would have said burgers with the guys, of course, until I heard about the sweat gland and barfed in my own mouth. Ew.

Celia Fae said...

Guys, you have completely outdone yourselves. I've never even met Ryan but I feel like I am in your computer room listening to you argue. Please continue for our reading pleasure.

I choose McDonald's. I like the yogurt parfait and I also like Jessica.

Did Ryan and his buddies really talk about baby making? From what I understand, those details are verboten in manland.

zeeny said...

I'm all for Ryan's lunch...I would prefere the female crown but would rather enjoy my lunch without so many interuptions. Besides, I do not like anything on the McDonalds menu these days...weird but true!

Penny said...

I'm torn...I like lunch with "the girls", but it also includes lunch with a bunch of our loud kids. Girls lunch= interesting conversation. Boys lunch= talking about grape sized boils they have to squeeze. I too, just threw up in my mouth.

I agree with Paige, if Jessica has to take the kids to lunch and deal with kids screaming and wetting their pants, etc. etc. Ryan should just work through lunch...Or better yet, how about all the men meet at McDonald's for a "date" with their kids and all the women go for a sandwich.

Sounds like a plan to me...

Me & My BOYS said...

My favorite lunch is meeting Daddy at his work and having him take me and my boys out to lunch somewhere!!!

gab said...

Loved this post...I am trying to convince my husband to blog with me!

Power lunches in the McD's playroom are the best...except for the restrooms. Disgusting...and of course I spend most of my time in there with two 3-year-olds.

Annie said...

Well, Jessica, you had me at pilfered fries and diet cokes (plus all my kids are in school now so I promise my attendance won't add to the noise level!)...

...and you had me in stitches with this post...you can come hang out with me and my guy anytime.

Ilene said...

I'm all for dropping the kids off with dad and going out with the girls. However, that won't happen until pigs fly (or my husband actually gets an office job). So I stick with the McD's and I must say that the women's restroom was surprisingly clean. If I were road tripping it through Spokane, I recommend the LL McDonald's bathroom.

As for conversation, I can't contribute much since I am usually busy shoveling baby food into Thomas' mouth but I would much rather be listening to teh McD crowds' topics of interest. There is no way that a man conversation could be more entertaining than its female counterpart.

I must also say that I am amazed that no sport references were brought up during the man lunch. Is that possible?

Laurie said...

What a great post! We live in completely different worlds from our men. Don't we?

Adrianne said...

I of course prefer lunch with Jessica any time any place, but I might like Ryan's circumstances better???

Meghann said...

I just wanted to announce to every Romney acquaintance that Jessica makes THEE best Lemon Meringue Pie. Thanks Jess! It's 10:15pm and I'm stuffing my face with your pie!!! So I mean "thanks" sarcastically- and sincerely ofcourse.

Meghann said...

Ryan- I'm sure the sweet, old ladies at Liberty Lake Library would be delighted to hear of your concern for their books as mentioned in the "barf training" video. Very hilarious, I must say.