Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Why I can't just ignore the guilt and move on from my blog

I should take a picture of my to-do list (except that would require a screenshot, and an email of the screenshot, downloading the picture from the email to my photo library, and then getting it onto this page and THAT, my friends, is one of the myriad of reasons that avoid this blog like the plague).  Annnnyway, if I did take a picture it would have the 10-12 things/events I want to do today and then underneath it, you'd see my Get To These Someday Please list.  That list is full of  blog posts I want to write (Halloween, 1st day of school, cross country, quick quotes about Jane and whale sex, hiking, update on each kid, Levi accomplishments, etc, etc, etc).  And I just look at them and think how very much I want them recorded so I remember them in 20 years but I just can't get to them in my day.

  • I have a one year old that climbs all over my laptop while I type
  • Instagram
  • 42 million doctor appts a month (it's mostly the orthodontist that kills me here)
  • I'd rather read a book
  • writing requires thinking and some peace and quiet
  • GETTING THE PICTURES OFF OF THE PHONE (why is this so hard???)
  • Emma did something screwy to my google account that makes it a 30 minute process trying to get onto blogger
  • People KEEP EATING which requires lists, recipes, prep, clean up...
  • TV, Facebook, YouTubes of all the oscar speeches and performances, reading anti-Mormon comment threads (why?  why?  why do I go down that ridiculous rabbit hole?)
  • I'm so so so behind
BUT, here's my story for today and the reason I am here.  A few months ago, I was having a embarrassingly bad mom moment as I tried to convince Emma to work on her Personal Progress.  (It's honestly so bad that I CANNOT put it on the Internet, but ask me in person and I will tell you because I have no shame.) Anyway, I ended up talking to one of her YW leaders about it afterwards, and she laughed and commiserated on motherhood hardships.

And then the next day she showed up at my door and said she felt inspired to tell me something.  She said "Why don't you do YOUR Personal Progress with her? She'll have to listen to you talk about it, she can even sign you off and maybe she'll want to do it after she watches you." As she spoke the words, I felt the Holy Ghost shoot through me.  I knew that it was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.  The list of excuses went through my mind (so uncomfortably similar to the excuses Emma had the day before) but I knew if I ignored the prompting, I'd be disobeying Heavenly Father and that always makes me less happy in the long run.  Plus, He's always so helpful when I'm trying to be obedient.

So I started.  And without going into tons of unnecessary detail, it's been such a blessing in my life.  I've loved the small, medium and larger goals.  I love that they are mostly just me trying to be more patient or less gossipy or less critical, while I read scriptures and talks that support those aims.  And I easily had one of the best Christmases of my life, which I credit almost completely to the fact that I memorized The Living Christ during the month of December.  Yay for Personal Progress, good YW leaders and friends and the whisperings of the Spirit.

For my Individual Worth big goal (I can't remember the official name), it said to record family history.  Blog=my family's history and so I'm going to go through every single one of those blog post ideas on my to-do list and get them written here and then I will pass off my Individual Worth and rid myself of some blog guilt all at the same time.

Except this post didn't even address one of those topics on my list.  Dang it.