Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Why I can't just ignore the guilt and move on from my blog

I should take a picture of my to-do list (except that would require a screenshot, and an email of the screenshot, downloading the picture from the email to my photo library, and then getting it onto this page and THAT, my friends, is one of the myriad of reasons that avoid this blog like the plague).  Annnnyway, if I did take a picture it would have the 10-12 things/events I want to do today and then underneath it, you'd see my Get To These Someday Please list.  That list is full of  blog posts I want to write (Halloween, 1st day of school, cross country, quick quotes about Jane and whale sex, hiking, update on each kid, Levi accomplishments, etc, etc, etc).  And I just look at them and think how very much I want them recorded so I remember them in 20 years but I just can't get to them in my day.

  • I have a one year old that climbs all over my laptop while I type
  • Instagram
  • 42 million doctor appts a month (it's mostly the orthodontist that kills me here)
  • I'd rather read a book
  • writing requires thinking and some peace and quiet
  • GETTING THE PICTURES OFF OF THE PHONE (why is this so hard???)
  • Emma did something screwy to my google account that makes it a 30 minute process trying to get onto blogger
  • People KEEP EATING which requires lists, recipes, prep, clean up...
  • TV, Facebook, YouTubes of all the oscar speeches and performances, reading anti-Mormon comment threads (why?  why?  why do I go down that ridiculous rabbit hole?)
  • I'm so so so behind
BUT, here's my story for today and the reason I am here.  A few months ago, I was having a embarrassingly bad mom moment as I tried to convince Emma to work on her Personal Progress.  (It's honestly so bad that I CANNOT put it on the Internet, but ask me in person and I will tell you because I have no shame.) Anyway, I ended up talking to one of her YW leaders about it afterwards, and she laughed and commiserated on motherhood hardships.

And then the next day she showed up at my door and said she felt inspired to tell me something.  She said "Why don't you do YOUR Personal Progress with her? She'll have to listen to you talk about it, she can even sign you off and maybe she'll want to do it after she watches you." As she spoke the words, I felt the Holy Ghost shoot through me.  I knew that it was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.  The list of excuses went through my mind (so uncomfortably similar to the excuses Emma had the day before) but I knew if I ignored the prompting, I'd be disobeying Heavenly Father and that always makes me less happy in the long run.  Plus, He's always so helpful when I'm trying to be obedient.

So I started.  And without going into tons of unnecessary detail, it's been such a blessing in my life.  I've loved the small, medium and larger goals.  I love that they are mostly just me trying to be more patient or less gossipy or less critical, while I read scriptures and talks that support those aims.  And I easily had one of the best Christmases of my life, which I credit almost completely to the fact that I memorized The Living Christ during the month of December.  Yay for Personal Progress, good YW leaders and friends and the whisperings of the Spirit.

For my Individual Worth big goal (I can't remember the official name), it said to record family history.  Blog=my family's history and so I'm going to go through every single one of those blog post ideas on my to-do list and get them written here and then I will pass off my Individual Worth and rid myself of some blog guilt all at the same time.

Except this post didn't even address one of those topics on my list.  Dang it.


Nurse Graham said...

Suggestion for getting pictures off of your phone...I back up all of my phone pictures to a google account (I have a samsung and this was a happy surprise feature that I discovered). With the pictures saved to a google account all I have to do is log-in and retrieve the picture I want. Of course, this is all just theory right now as I have yet to actually put this thought into practice.

Hope to see more of your wonderful writing. And I can't wait to hear the quote from Jane about whale sex.

Jeanelle said...

Oh my gosh - I adore you. This was so great! I love that you are doing personal progress with Emma and I love that you got such a strong confirmation about it. (and I will text you about the embarrassing story because you know I want to know about that.) I'm excited mostly that it means you're going to blog more.

I miss blogging. I really should just keep a journal but I don't. I want to remember stuff like how I was in my marathon meeting last week and had such a powerful confirmation about 1 Nephi 8 and the BofM as a whole during just some random/routine training. But instead all I will probably remember is that I made really awesome oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for the meeting because I posted *that* on Instagram.

My advice? Don't read the anti stuff. Their garbage will suck the happy and the spirit right out of you. You can't do a dang thing about them other than raise your kids to be an example of Christ and a source of light in this world. xoxo

Katie said...

Thank you for this great post!
I'm ignoring cleaning up kitchen crumbs, by reading your post instead! Much more worthwhile!

I too struggle, with P. Progress for my daughter and have felt inspired many times to do it as well,
now I know this is the right thing to do.

No worries about blog guilt, we love when you post, but no worries if it's just once in a while.
Technology is here to make our life easier, but it seems to make mine harder!

Rachel B. said...

You probably don't remember me--met you at Blogapalooza a bazillion years ago, but I've kept you on my google reader because I adore when you post. And let me tell you, your reasons about blogging and the guilt is almost identical to how I feel (right down to anti-Mormon comment threads...so weird). There truly is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blog guilt. I think that is so great that you are doing personal progress and I'm excited that you are going to catch up on those posts. I have about 10 draft posts about my children just sitting there waiting for me to work on! Good luck!

Elizabeth said...

You are amazing and I look forward to more posts - but also I hope blogging makes you happy and helps you reach your goals.

Kristyn said...

Hi there! My name is Kristyn, and I have read your blog for a few years now, and I think I've left one comment a long time ago when I felt bold one day. I totally get you on what you're talking about here and feel the same way. I have completely given up on the blog world. But that said, I click over to your blog every once in a while to see what YOU have blogged! I feel like you are one of the most honest, down to earth, have the right priorities, funny, interesting, working to be better but in a realistic way, kinda person. I have LOVED reading your posts over the years. My kids are younger than yours, so your insights have been an awesome forecast of what I've got coming, and you make raising righteous kids doable and fun.

So I know blogging is a total ball and chain, but for what it's worth, I've totally appreciated so much of your words of wisdom that I've found intertwined in your daily life. So thanks for your blog! Seriously, it's really helped me in my life!

Carie said...

Well HOORAY for me. Can't wait to hear more!

Lauren in GA said...

Man, I love you. I soaked in every single word of this. Thank you for your example and testimony of the importance of listening to promptings from the Holy Ghost.

I so want to call you and hear your story about Emma. :)

And you KNOW I am intrigued about Jane and the whale sex quote ;)

heidi said...

Im the same about blogging and getting pictures off my phone and anti-mormon threads. We'll start a support group. The desserts will be amazing.

Lauren in GA said...

I just read this post again and I have some more thoughts...

It made me laugh again reading how, "People KEEP EATING which requires lists, recipes, prep, clean up." and I just felt really close to you. Why, oh, why does keeping everyone fed and cared for take up so much time? I want to record memories about how our lives are but it just seems to take me so long just to do the basic, "keeping everyone fed, clean, warm and dry." that I never do.

I have had some Mom hardships lately and I can't put them on the Internet, either...but I so appreciate your honesty and willingness to share with all of us.

Thank you for sharing this experience about the leader who was inspired to visit you about Personal Progress. I am very grateful to hear this story about the whisperings of the Holy Ghost.

I too have goals to be less gossipy and critical. It is so hard.

And finally...I wanted to share an experience about someone that was pushing anti Mormon literature on me. I finally said something along the lines of, "Many of your concerns stem from the issues you have with The Book of Mormon. Your arguments are only as good as your information. Please read it and pray about it before passing judgment on it."