2) Discipline when it punishes you.
I could probably end right there and you would all know exactly what I'm talking about. Emma and Gabe broke a rule about coming in when I call (consequence: no playing outside the rest of the day) at the end of the day and then LIED about it (and got caught). The punishment, I not-so-calmly pronounced: 2 full days inside. As the words left my mouth, I realized what I had done. I was punishing me. I felt like it was an natural consequence (if you can't be trusted to come in when I call, then you can't go out at all and if you lie about something, it's WORSE than the original crime) but I WAS GOING TO DIE with kids in my face for two entire days. I started calling around, asking friends if they were sick or getting their hair done, so I could "watch the kids for them" --translation: ease the misery in our house, through pretending a service project. I began making up outings (library, Seth needed to go to the park) so we could get out. All in all, I think it was effective. But how bad does it suck when being a good parent disciplines you?!
3) The Not Listening Chair
Also known as the toilet. I got this from my mom. She claims she changed it to "The Thinking Chair" to be more positive, but that was after my time. We call it the Not Listening Chair around here. It's where they go when they do bad stuff. 1 minute per year, of course...and I never forget to set the timer and they never yell "Can I get off?" 25 times and I'm always really calm when I send them there. I love it because it's everywhere, in every home, it's really boring, and uncomfortable and the only trouble they can get into is un-rolling the toilet paper roll. Downside: It's really echo-y when they're screaming bloody murder. Seth sends himself there:
I'll hear yelling and then I'll locate the source. It's Seth, following the example set for him by older siblings, "I ge off?!" Even though I've never actually sent him there. I tell him he can get off, but he won't until I have him apologize (like I do with older kids, thank you, Super Nanny) so I have to make something up: "Tell Mom sorry for being really cute." "Sah-we, mom." "Okay, you can get off." I'm worried it's losing it's effectiveness for him.
So there you go...being the wordy woman that I am, those turned out to all be long enough for their own posts. Sorry. I'd love to hear your feedback about how you'd never adopt a 90% rule, wimp out of a punishment by making up service projects or force your baby to say sorry for nothing. Maybe you can teach ME a thing or two!
14 comments:
Sounds like you're a good mom to me! In answer to your question on Heather's blog: No, grandma doesn't post funny comments. In fact, she's not funny at all. I'd dare say she's scary! (This is my Grandma I'm talking about, not my mom, btw!)
I'm voting your blog the #1 best blog. I have many reasons.
1. You post often... keeps me on my toes.
2. It's both you and Ryan... gives variety.
3. You get lots of comments
4. You really, really enjoy blogging.
5. You are honest about the joys of parenting.
6. You give me great ideas of books I should read.
7. You and Ryan and your kids are sooo funny.
8. I miss you in our neighborhood.
9. You make me feel like our family is just another normal family.
10. You are just plain awesome.
..... some comments for Ryan. There are worse things Jessica could be doing than blogging.
I try to keep up on my blog, but it will never replace my love for scrapbooking. Blogging is much cheaper than scrapbooking, so you can thank Jessica for that. And what makes you think you can do any projects around the house WITH the kids help. That's the hard thing about projects. They all require the dad. But that means that the mom has to be with the kids more (and we already get enough time with the kids). Okay, I'll shut up now!!!
I love the idea of the "thinking chair" I just put my two year old in the corner and then have to stand there and re-put her there when she gets up every five seconds! Do you shut the door on them? I might have to!
Thanks for the good dose of honesty and for giving us all a smile.
If I could be as good a mom as you 90% of the time I'd be translated. Perhaps you could take a bike away and STILL send them outside? that's kinda natural consequences. Or tell them they can't climb their favorite tree outside, but still have to go out there? Locking my children outside on our safe cul-de-sac gives me true joy. And Seth might be the cutest thing ever.
Off topic, and I know you are the #1 blog, but has me & my boys read my blog? Just wondering. I'd like to perhaps win something in the top ten because I'm obsessed. Don't you hate it when you have nothing to write about that day and then you sit at the computer and type hilarious vomit on the page? I'm wondering when I'm going to run out of stuff to blog about. Like I'll run out of stuff to talk about. Ha!
I have to concede the scrapbooking point. As Carrie knows all too well, I will stop at nothing to keep my wife hobbyless.
Hilarious. Now if I can only get up to that 90-10 ratio.
Does the "not listening chair" hurt potty training efforts?
Thanks for the post. I've been thinking about this a lot. Consistency is key. I love Super Nanny.
You know I love both of you...but now I love you even more since I can see how so similar we are in our parenting!
Ryan-this is why blogging works...it brings families together! (OK, extended families, but that's still good!)
Here are my musings...although I am trying not to ramble on comments, I am so breaking Abbie's rule #5:
1. I allow giggling during scriptures and family prayer 10% of the time. Here's my thinking: will they remember how spiritual our family scripture study and family prayer were? NO! They will remember the times they sat next to each other and giggled through the whole thing. If I were on them 100% of the time, they would remember what a mean ogre of a Mom they had. So, I am just creating happy memories as I see it!
2. I believe I am well-versed on this subject. I have put my foot in my mouth often times. However, (and I don’t know how long this will last) my kids are really good about sticking to their punishments without reminders. Drew will even give me a countdown to un-punishment whenever I ask. I’m trying to think more before I speak…hard for me though. I mean, why take away swimming when it is the only time you can keep the kids from messing up the house you spent all day cleaning?
3. Our laundry room used to be our time-out room. You know, the dark, moist air…a constant rumbling from the dryer…and the occasional deafening buzz from said dryer that we wish had a “buzz volume” on it. However, our children started to say things like, “I can’t be in time-out, I have to go potty.” I had visions of urine streaming all over the floor of my laundry room flooding all it came in contact with. So, what’s a smart and terrified Mom like myself to do…change the time-out room to the ½ bathroom. That way, if they have to go potty, they can just lift up the toilet seat (not listening chair) and do their business for the minutes (by years like you) that they are in there.
That was quite wordy...but what's new. I will try tomorrow to live Rule #5!
Wow! I didn't realize people would take me seriously about the blog rules. I was being facetious. I love the many posts, the many comments, and the checking multiple times a day. I just try not to spend all my free time (Eli's nap time) reading blogs of people I've never met that live in Indian. Please forgive me. And keep the blogging up. I love it.
And I really want to know if the "not listening chair" hinders potty-training. Please give more parenting advice. I love it!
your blog is award wining - i love reading all your many thoughts. you haven't changed one bit
Everything has already been said, so I will just comment that Seth is adorable (also previously mentioned, but worth repeating).
I love the 'Not listening chair' -- I think I'll adopt that.
And I hate it too when good parenting punishes you too! It really stinks!
Your blog is just what a blog should be....honest, funny, sincere!
Post a Comment