Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Phone Philosophies


Jessica and I differ on our phone philosophies. I believe that the phone is a tool of convenience. Therefore, I only answer it if it is convenient for me. This is not a reflection upon the person calling. Sometimes answering a call from the boss you can't stand is more convenient than getting fired. Conversely, it may also be more convenient NOT to scald precious fingertips as you drain the pasta in order to answer the call from your sister who you love dearly, but not as much as your fatty little fingers. Jessica on the other hand believes that the telephone is a tool of communication, and since there is no greater good than communication EVERY phone call must be answered.

This philosophy also spills over to voice mail. Jessica wouldn't dream of not leaving a piece of her soul on your answering machine. However, since I feel no obligation to respond to phone messages, I only leave them when I am completely desperate.
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.. Oh and I have to mention a recent realization that my wife has a very strong aversion to being hung up on. Now I am not talking about hanging up on her in anger or to make an outraged exit from an unpleasant conversation (although ... that never goes over as well as one might imagine either); I am talking about being the one who decides they have to get off the phone. When I initiate an end to the phone conversation Jessica will fervently press me to not get off the phone.
"No wait, ... I have something else to tell you!"
"... um ... my meeting starts in only 30 seconds"
"Don't go"
"seriously honey, I will be out of a job if I am not in that conference room in 20 seconds."
"Does that mean you might be home early tonight?"
She will beg and plead with such utter sincerity, that I am left with the impression that there must be some life altering topic that needs to be addressed immediately. This ruse is however abruptly abandoned as soon as she can tell that I have re-engaged in the conversation. At this point she will put the kibosh on the conversation with a phrase like ... "oh I've got to go ... I'm late for the library." You might wonder how one can be late to a library, as have I. However, library tardiness is apparently almost a mortal sin judging by the dramatic way that it can kill a conversation. And she succeeds in ending the conversation before me.
So, I've, uh, got to go. It's my only chance to be the first one to say good-bye.

14 comments:

Carie said...

Mark and I have very similar phone philosophies . . . we both ignore a ringning phone as much as possible. We are big believers in the "phone is for OUR convenience" camp. Our friends are always surprised when we actually answer. It's good to keep them on their toes.

Paige said...

Dear Ryan, your wife is a precious angel whose phone desires and crazy insecure anomalies should be honored and respected.

rubberbandgirl said...

Ryan, you crack me up. I hope after we finally sell our home (and I'm not diving toward to phone with way too much hope)I can get back to your philosophy.

THE SEELEYS said...

We don't move when our phone rings. See, we have cool "talking caller-ID". Our phone tells us who is calling and we can decide to pick up or not. Also, because we can't stand voicemail, our cell phones don't have it. I think it annoys most everyone who calls us and lets it ring 20 times.

However, I am like Jessica, offended when Dane ends the conversation, but have no qualms about ending it myself.

Celia Fae said...

Ryan. You are being manipulated. Better there than elsewhere. P.S. Leave a message. It makes us feel popular.

Jill said...

Hi, you don't know me but I love your blog! I am laughing at your post. I think the phone is a great thing, but too agree with your philosphy. I don't answer if I am not in the mood. Nothing wrong with that! You guys are a cute family!!

Mario, Adrianne & Gabe Resek said...

I love it. In our house, I am you and Mario is Jessica. He CANNOT handle it if my phone announces a message arriving and I don't run to read it. He has even suggested I implant the phone in a sensitive cavity so that I may always hear it and answer it promptly. I continue ot "not hear" it.

Heather said...

Ryan,
Tell your darling wife to call me. I will talk to her all day long so you can go to your meetings and not get fired.

Tammy said...

I don't even take my poor husband's calls when I am work. I am way too busy, and when I do answer I want him to spit it out quickly and tell what he needs because I have no time for chit chat, does that make me the man in the family?! I love it.

Jessica said...

Jill...who are you? Do you have a blog?

jilly the hillbilly said...

Hi Jessica. I hope I'm not freaking you out!! I can't even remember how I found your blog, but you guys are so fun! You can check out my blog. It's definitely not as fun and interesting as yours!! I can't wait to try your danish recipe too. It looked so good, I went to Target to buy that pan! Aren't blogs so fun :)

jilly the hillbilly said...

okay...I don't know if you can get on my blog when you click on my name...so here is the address. www.quirkykirky.blogspot.com. We just moved from Utah to Missouri and miss it sooooooo much! I'm pretending to try and fit in with the hillbilly's but it ain't workin' too well :)

Ilene said...

Um Ryan, I am a victim of your non-message leaving. I saw that someone from your house called me but did not leave a message. Of course I assumed it was Jessica and hurridly called the number. You then picked up the phone and told me that it was you who called, verifying my phone number for EmmyLou. I was devastated; Jessica did not call. Yet another reminder that I have no friends. Next time leave a message so my hopes aren't crushed yet again.

Okay, perhaps I am being a bit dramatic. However, you should be glad you at least have a wife who has something to say to you on the phone. Dan's and my phone conversations are mostly spent sitting in silence wondering when we can politely make our escape.

Kara said...

I have to admit I am with Ryan on this one...not totally, but mostly. I do return messages, and leave them (usually too long). But, I have decided that I am in charge of my time and life and I can decide to answer if I want. You may want to check out my post I did about a week ago called, "they notice".