Food for Thought

Yesterday, Ryan and I happened to be "lunching" with friends at the same time. We thought it would be fun to do some compare and contrast.

Where:

J--McDonald's playland. Decibels at unhealthy levels. We tried moving to a different spot, so we wouldn't have to yell at each other while we ignored our kids, but it didn't help much.

R--Spokane Subs ... apparently a very Christian establishment, I gathered from the plethora of crosses and John 3:16 citations on the walls, shirts, & necks of those in the building. Noisiest part of the restaurant was the four of us as we laughed our heads off.

Invitation:

J--standing. Every Friday at 11:30ish, unless our kids are out of school, because then it gets too pricey.

R--Ours is a bi-monthly quest. Every other Friday we are on a mission to determine where the best burger in Spokane is. It was my week to choose a restaurant, and I like sandwiches better than burgers, so I guess the quest got put on hold this week.

Number of kids present:

J--13.

R--There were only four of us this week (poor turnout), but Patrick and Aric (I don't know why they spell it that way in N. Dakota) were in suits so maybe we can count them as adults. But if I don't count as an adult then Aric definitely shouldn't. (J "it would have been funnier if he'd just said 0.")

Menu:

J--With so many yummy choices, we don't know where to start. The Grilled Chicken with the mayo scraped off? The Salads, where you have to every time ask them to put something on they forgot? Of course, there's the fry-stealing (so we can pretend we didn't actually eat them.) And lots of Diet Coke.

R--Sub sandwiches. (It would be funnier if she'd not try to control me and let you all know what would be funnier in her mind.)

Interruptions:

J--Uncountable. Noteworthy: one kid having to be pulled off a stranger's kid, the screaming party that went on in the bubble above our heads as the kids realized how echoey and loud it is up there, a toddler falling from the high chair he was crawling on, and, our playdate is never complete without: the 4 year old wetting her pants.

R--WAIT A MINUTE!!! I see where this is going. She's trying to turn this into a pity party about how us guys just lounge around in our cushy lives while the ladies have to deal with unreasonable, ungrateful, unmanageable little monsters in their mired lives. (Were you hoping I would just type zero here???)

Topics of Conversations:
J-- (seems a little defensive, huh? Thou dost protest too much...)

• whether to have one more kid, or "how you knew you were done."
• what great deals we got on the kids' clothes.
• how ONE MOTHER HAS DECIDED TO FORGO INTERNET AND CABLE...this took a lot of time to understand.
• how to get 3 year olds to nap ( I just sleep with mine) and go to co-op preschool
• the merits of Pilates vs. Pump class at the local gym
• blogging
• hair

R--(Methinks she forgot the methinks)

• Various tactics employed to delay or completely avoid having "just one more." (Jessica just pointed out that no one brought up the most biologically sound way to avoid having one more ... oh no.)
• Indirect ways that our wives try to get us to go to the gym without coming out and just saying what they mean.
• Adam instituted a new system for approximating the reliability of the information he was disseminating. He would conclude each story or statement with something like "I am 60% sure that is true."
• A clogged sweat gland (this one was rated as 80% reliable) that got as big as a large grape and how many kneads were required to drain the "sucker" as well as a sub-discussion revolving around the actual intent of the owner of said gland, when he took off his shirt to get an opinion from another one of our wives since she has a background in nursing.
• City Council Drama (Patrick is on the council)
• Young Mens stories (Aric and Adam work with the YM in our ward)
• A couple other topics that have been censored to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Using your comparing and contrasting skills ...which lunch would you rather have attended?

(OH REAL FAIR! ... we all know that this blog is read by an audience which is 98% female and 2% male)

Cat's Out of the Bag

Minutes after Jessica left me for the evening with the kids I began sharing the 80's with them in my own special way by singing "You gotta fight!! For your right!!! To PAAAAARTAY!" At the top of my lungs. Since I don't know any of the words other than the chorus, I repeated it several times. Yet my exuberence was quickly squelched by Gabe who soberly informed me,

"Dad ... mom doesn't partay with us when your not here."

"What !?!?!" I queried agast.

"Really ... she doesn't" he reaffirmed.

"Well, I can't belive what I am hearing." I said deflated "I specifically instructed her to party with you guys while I am at work," I informed him with disgust.

"She doesn't."

"Well, what is she doing then??"

"blogging."

"Blogging!?"

"Yes, just blogging."

I think my surprised expression communicated incredulity to the boy so he asked his sister to corroberate his story, "Does mom blog all the time Jane?"

"huh?" she asked distracted.

"Does mom blog all the time?"

"what?" still distracted.

"Does mom blog all the time!!!" now getting exasperated.

"yep." she finally answered emotionless.

So there you have it. Apparently Jessica isn't partying all the time with the kids. Rumor has it she is blogging. I just can't believe this. Can you?

Hot Date

• He was cute. (big green eyes and dimples)
  
• He was super easy to talk to.


• He wanted to go shopping with me. (Even did little dances in the fitting rooms to properly display the merchandise.)

(these are pictures from our back to school shopping...no camera yet (getting one today)...apparently fitting rooms bring out the disco in Gabe.)

• He felt like discussing the fashion sense of those around us. ("That lady is too dark: black hair, black clothes and her lipstick was kind of black.")
  
• He decided on Cinnabon for dessert and even shared some with me--don't tell my diet, as I'm only eating dessert on the weekends. ("This is even a little bit better than Krispy Kreme.")

It's when you spend one-on-one time with your kids that you remember why you wanted to have them in the first place.

Why I'm Awesome

First of all, let me apologize again, for the lack of pictures. We have learned how hard life is without checks, debit cards and credit cards!! You go to replace the MP3, or the camera, or the new clothes (I guess that doesn't count as replacing) and then you realize that without a credit card number, you are purchase-less. We've received the credit and debit cards, and have ordered the MP3, but are having a disagreement about the camera (he thinks, as this is our 4th one in 4 years, we should buy cheap--does that surprise anyone?--and I think we are learning so much about how to NOT keep cameras around, that this time is the MAGIC time!)--so I have no picture with my post.



Wait, since this is about me being awesome...I'm going to go find an old one that properly displays awesomeness... (See, now the post is so much more interesting.)

I'm ready to give you the reasons that I am awesome:
.

1) I just ALL BY MYSELF set up automatic bill pay. It's not that I'm not reasonably tech-savvy (I am) or that I haven't seen a need (oh, there's a need, when twice a month, I spend hours handwriting bills)...it's that I am NOT the project person in our house. I am very good at doing the regular stuff (food, clothes, hair, straightening up, yelling at kids, my calling). I honestly just get completely stressed out if I have an extra project to take on. So Ryan usually has to organize really messy closets, plan the landscaping, build stuff and USUALLY would have to set up stuff like the bill pay account. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Nope! Awesome Jessica, realizing that since the new checks have not arrived, bills would be late (see, I'm responsible) decided to just bite the bullet and set it up. Which I did, after an hour of frustration and 2 mad phone calls to the real live persons I actually talked to, after yelling into the automated phone system "Get me a person!!". So now it's done. And I am awesome.
.

2) I am the star of our volleyball group. Okay, I'm really not the star. Really, not at all. In fact, I'm the worst person there I think. But it is the FUNNEST morning of my whole week. There's usually 8-10 of us that meet at the church, and, while the kids run around and clog the nursery toilet (really happened, thanks Jensen kids), we play 3-4 games of decent volleying volleyball. Are you jealous?! It's so fun. Because normally women just sit and have lunch (second favorite activity of my week: McD's on Fridays), for entertainment. We don't play games and move around (at least not for entertainment...because I promise I move around like crazy trying to rotate car seats for preschool carpool). And I was really hitting my stride today...maybe I even saved as many points as I lost. And I did, like, 3 dives to try to get the ball. I even have a scab on my knee. So even though I wish I was the star, I am awesome just for being a tough mommy, right?
.

So, feel free to comment on my awesomeness (and you could also add that due to said awesomeness, I should get a good camera.) You're welcome for knowing me.

Elder Uncle Sam

There are a few different kinds of Mormon boys.

Type A: These are the boys with testimonies who, step by step, make the choices that get them onto to their missions right around age 19, hopefully ready and worthy to serve. (I'm married to one of these, and am grateful for these kind of men).

Type B: These are the boys who basically decide that they don't believe the Church is true enough to change what they need to change or sacrifice what they need to sacrifice and they never go on missions.

Type C: These are the boys who know the Gospel is true and, little by little, fix their lives, allowing Christ's Atonement to work and change them, as they become men with knowledge and a burning desire to go on missions despite great personal sacrifice.

Guess what kind my brother Sam is?

I am deeply proud that he is my brother. I am humbled by his example, as he has shown us that progress is progress and that Heavenly Father doesn't care when we get there...as long as we do. He has shown me that Christ can change our hearts and our lives, if we let Him.

He enters the MTC on Wednesday and will serve in the Ventura, California mission for 2 years. We have no doubt that he is ready and will be a valient missionary. We will be excited to learn from his experiences as he bears witness that Christ's gospel has been restored to the earth.

We love you and we will miss you. Thank you.

A Dozen Cousins

Since my brothers are visiting us this weekend we decided to do a big family dinner together at my sister Heather's house (thanks Heath'!). We used to invite ourselves over more often back when our combined brood only totalled a half dozen cousins. But with my sister's amazing procreative powers, she now has passed our old total all by herself. It was fun as it always is, but in order to keep from getting too verbose, I will just report the highlights.

==========
Highlights:
==========

1.) Every Romney within 300 miles was there; my Uncle Doug & Aunt Marcie, Greg & Fam, Heather & Fam, and us.

2.) The argument that ensued between Austin and Landon. They almost always entertain us with some kind of silly conversation, interaction or squabble. Tonight the argument revolved around which one of them actually responded to the initial news that our van had been stolen with the response: "Who would steal that old piece of trash?"

3.) Adrienne was wearing my favorite T-shirt that always makes me a little happier. It is the one with a frazzled looking cat scratching a chalkboard with the words "STRESSED OUT!!" across the bottom in bold. It has an unnatural hold on me. I always have to ask her something like "how are you really feeling?" whenever I see her in it. Tonight Greg took the bait before I did and I immediately felt an inner peace warm over me. Ahhh... the simple pleasures of family.

4.) The melee that ensues whenever 2 year olds occupy the same space. Tonight was especially eye-catching because we had three 2 year old combatants to root on. My favorite match was Miles thwarted attempt at commandeering Stacey's dessert plate. Her shove to the face was expertly executed. Unfortunately, the instinctive yanking of the plate behind the back resulted in no one getting to enjoy the loot.

5.) The group conversation with Jessica. This is when we all sit down after the kids have eaten and the dishes have been cleared away and Jessica leads a group discussion revolving around various topics of her choosing. Try as she might she can't help but run the table. She makes funny rules for herself like "I won't say anything else until two more people have commented" although well meaning, these rules aren't very effective.

6.) Tonight we had a new highlight. This was during the pre-dinner prayer. As my brother began the prayer, I heard a loud rushing stream of liquid coming echoing out of the open bathroom doorway. As I peeked in to see what reverent soul had chosen this as their preferred mode of worship, I recognized Gabe standing in front of the toilet with his pants down and his head bowed and his arms folded. He finished relieving himself without the aid of any hands. I know he finished because the echoing ceased before the prayer did and, as I peeked back in, I noticed that the reverent repose was still maintained (pants still down) for the duration of the prayer. I am not sure whether to be pleased with the attempt to be reverent or the peaceful comfort of my son as he prayed without pants or shame.



We've wondered why we get invited over less since we've moved back...but in reviewing this post, it's seeming a little more clear. It may be cheaper by the dozen, but it's certainly not quieter.

Hair

So I had a friend email me about my hair. I read the email to Ryan and he starts getting all exercised and says:

"Oh, it's a long process. It involves scrunching, special sprays. It involves the little red bottle and then the $18 mousse, that's a really good deal. And the color protecting shampoo, so the color doesn't run. And smelly hair-spray. Also, those big curlers you put in your hair."

Which makes it sound like a long process. Which it's not. Certainly not as long as it has been.

(I seriously used to start getting ready 1 1/2 hours before I went anywhere. I could get my whole family ready twice in 90 minutes, now. But maybe that's why you (hopefully) don't have kids when you are mate-searching...so you have plenty of time to exfoliate, shave, dry, scrunch, lotion, seperate your lashes, etc.--I do, like, 2 of those things now.)

For the record, the process is only long to the guy who complained (when he was trying out the slightly longer hair thing) that, "It takes me a couple minutes now to get it right!" And this is why he eventually cut it.

Since I don't have the option of cutting it as short as his:

I will continue with my products (none of which are from actual salons, just the shelves of Wal-Mart, despite his acting like I spend our retirement on my hair). My current favorite is this one.

I swear my heat-induced curls or straightenings stay longer when I use it.

Really pointless blog, I know, but who doesn't like a good high school photo, accompanied by hair tips, every once in a while.

Emma, then and now

Before there was a blog, there was a journal of the cute things each kid did (certainly not updated regularly).

In June of 2003, Emma was 4 and following is an interview I did with her. I thought I would include her answers then and now.

Name: Emma Romney

Birthday:

then--February 12

now--February 12 (said with a look of "duh.")

# of brothers:

then--1

now--2

# of sisters:

then--1 in Mom's tummy

now--1

What do you want to be when you be when you grow up?

then--a mom

now--"I actually have 3 things: a mom, artist, and a dancer."

If you could be any animal, what would it be?

then--a cat

now--"and I have 2: a cheetah (shout out to Bekah!) and an alligator"

What is your favorite thing to do with your family?

then--have Family Home Evening, go to the park, fly kites

now--going to Riverfront Park and watching late movies

What is your favorite holiday?

then--Easter

now--I'd say Christmas and Halloween

What is your favorite Primary song?

then--A Child's Prayer

now--"What's the one? some say tak, others merci, oh kan sha blah blah blah (ed. note) Children all over the world and Holding Hands around the World. "

Who is your favorite scripture Hero?

then--Jesus

now--Nephi

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?

then--Disneyland

now--"Um, I'd go to the lake house when they have the swinging thingie. They're going to attach a ladder and then a little platform and a hanger thing and a rope and so you can jump out into the water." (A little less expensive than the previous request. Yes!)

Favorite movie:

then--Shrek

now--"Cats, the one that grandma has. Oh and home videos."

Favorite color:

then--red

now--greenish blue

Favorite outfit:

then--rainbow sweater (now a favorite of Jane's)

now--"I'd say my back to school outfit. Only if the pants were a little bit tighter." (What?!)

Favorite toy:

then--princess tent

now--headphones (how times change...)

Favorite friend:

then--Trey

now--Destinae (said with a sad voice...as she lives in Utah)

Favorite meal:

then--macaroni and cheese

now--"Oh, I have quite a few for this one. Homemade macaroni and cheese, shell macaroni and cheese, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, sweet tomatoes macaroni and cheese, clam chowder, garlic bread." (No lactose intolerance, here)

Favorite thing about preschool/school:

then--art

now--"the art that my teacher does."

Favorite thing about gymnastics (then)/piano (now)

then--the pit "where it has this kind of square sponges to jump in."

now--how nice and funny my teacher is and since I have my old books how much I've learned.

Interview for Mom:

Favorite thing about Emma?

then--littleness

now--bigness

(Don't you wish you could have both at once...whenever you wished it? Littleness when you can't remember how cute they were. Bigness when you need them to do a good job clearing the table.)

We love Emma.

America's Next Top Model Family

Right before we left on our cruise, we had the much-anticipated, so-enjoyed family photo session. My saintly and talented friend, Kerry, agrees for no money (it was my birthday gift this year) to deal with the lovely family dynamics that occur with the picture taking and the Romneys.


But really, it was a lovely experience. Everything went so smoothly and my kids are little angel robots who cause no problems and smile calmly the whole time.



Seth wasn't constantly trying to wriggle out of shots:

Gabe wasn't having the weird "now that I'm seven I can't smile like a normal person"
problem:

No one ever showed their undergarments:

Emma acted perfectly mature and darling the whole time: (okay, this one's actually true)

I looked so cute in every picture:

No one tried to play guerrilla army guy in the weeds:

Everyone seemed to happy to be there:

I was so nice and calm the whole time...I'm sure Emma was joking when she saw this picture and said, "Oh that's the one when you were getting really mad at us, Mom.":

There were no cheesy shots:

And my kids really knew that when it was time to take a picture, they needed to stop playing and just smile:

Ryan refrained from taking advantage of his time in front of the camera:

And Seth looked at the camera the whole time:

I can't wait until next year.

Here's a happy one for you!

So, yesterday (oh, such fond memories) was part II of the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, where all of our leaders, great men and women, speak to us. I was inspired and moved by many of the them (Elder Wirthlin's total exemplification of his topic of Charity, Sis. Beck's reaffirming and reminding "Women Who Know", Oakes totally-for-me "Good, Better, Best") but the one that I'm focusing on today is Elder Eyring's talk. He spoke about how he has spent every day journaling a few lines, recording how he saw God's Hand in his life that day. He reminded us that as we watch for Him, we will see Him more. We will be more grateful, more humbled, more able to teach our children that He knows and loves us.

So...I'm in: With all the mess of the last few days...here are some ways I've seen God's hand in my life.

1. Our van was found.

2. We had friends who whisked our kids away, so we could concentrate, and then had a yummy lunch all ready for us when we finished the police business.

3. Tammy and the new purse: brightening my day and teaching me how to "comfort those who stand in need of comfort." Mosiah 18:9

4. A sweet "family special time" where we discussed what had happened, why and what we learn from it. Gabe said, "I thought that even if we couldn't find our car and couldn't go anywhere because our car only has 5 seats, we could walk to church instead and still be a family." It was a great opportunity to teach and testify that we are known and loved of Heavenly Father.

5. Being reminded again what an unselfish oldest child we have.

6. Waking up happy, instead of bummed out.

7. AND LISTEN TO THIS: when Emma was walking out the door to school this morning, she looked down at the newspaper lying there and said, "Mom!" Tucked into the sleeve of the newspaper, was my license! So much easier to get through this stuff with photo ID and so much less of a worry that people are cashing my checks and getting into over 21 dance clubs with my license.

It is completly naive to think that we can avoid bad things just by trying really hard to do what is right. This life is a time to learn and grow and sometimes we can only grow as we have challenges placed in front of us. There are way worse stuff that could have happened...I'm grateful that God gives us what we can handle. I have seen His Hand in my life this weekend and many times before.

Purposely Untitled to Ensure a Surprise Ending

So this is what happened:

Yesterday the kids and I decided to decorate our van in celebration of Ryan's marathon completion. We picked up a bunch of his favorite foods (if you can't pig out after a marathon, when can you?) and wrote all over the car windows with CONGRATULATIONS, WE LOVE YOU DAD, etc. After a crazy airplane delay, Ryan was coming home very late. I called him, to ask where he was (to prepare the celebrations) and he said he was minutes away. I hurriedly backed our van out of the driveway, left it parked all diagonally (for better effect) and ran back inside. Ryan came in, enjoyed his party and we went to bed.

We woke up this morning, watched A.M. conference, and got ready to go to brunch at some friends' house. Emma walked outside and came back in: "Mom, where's the van?" "Oh, hun, you forgot we put it in the driveway, instead of the garage." "No, mom, I checked both places. It's not there." I'd left the keys in the car, in my haste at trying to get ready for Ryan's return.

I began, in tears, calling friends, hoping they would reveal their practical-car-stealing-joke. No luck. We called the police, couldn't get through and began cancelling credit cards. Of course, the purse was in the car. We tried the police again. This time they answered. I told her our car had been stolen and she replied, "I know where it is. I'll be at your house in a minute." She came over, got the info and told us that she'd seen an abandoned blue van parked by a hotel in town, with writing all over it, and could we go over and identify?

So, end of the story: We got the van (and my coat, which I was hoping was gone, so I would have to replace it) back. We didn't get our stereo back, or my wallet, or our whole cash budget for 2 weeks, or our camera (the reason there will be no pictures for a while), or my MP3 player or my gift card for Aeropostale THAT I'D NEVER USED. We're grateful that we don't have to replace that van (since it's worth like, $5000, maybe). We wish we didn't have to go through the identity theft protection process, as well as getting new IDs, credit cards and cameras (bad luck with those!). But, we'll be fine. Let us know if you see any meth-heads with a tan/brown/pink striped purse, or a semi-nice camera, okay?

p.s. Some friends came to pick up the kids while we sorting everything out, and at their lunch prayer they reported that Jane prayed, "Please bless that guys stole our car and we will find it." So that's probably why we found it.

p.s.s. I just went upstairs and found this note (accompanied by 7 dollars and 12 cents): "you may use me mony --{heart} Emma". How sweet is that? She had been worried earlier, asking, "How much money do we have in our house now, Mom?" and I told her, "We have money in the bank. We have enough, it'll be fine." But she apparently wanted to contribute anyway.

Vacation, how did you get away?

I know it's boring to tell you all how much "re-entry" sucks, because all of you know. But it sucks. (I'm sorry, I just love that word and really struggle to not say it in front of my kids--and basically fail--because it is so perfectly descriptive of a yucky, yucky thing. Yucky's kind of nicer, huh? But it just have the same punch, you know?)

ANYWAY, following are a List of Suckiness Reasons:

1) It turned into winter while I was away.
2) Kids make a lot of noise, especially when they want your attention.
3) There are lots of papers that procreate in your home while you are away (bills, completed homework, mail, school notices, etc.).
4) My husband deserted me to go run the St George marathon today. 26.2 miles is a cinch compared to this.
5) It's gray gray gray gray gray gray gray.
6) I gained 5 lbs and have to revert to un-fun strict pre-cruise diet.
7) I feel grouchy that I'm not more loving and fun right now and am sure that they are all thinking, "Why were we wanting her back?"
8) I'm feeling guilty that I didn't get my husband a cute pre-marathon present (like his sister did) and I'm feeling guilty that my cute brother Sam (who was here during and after the cruise) had grouchy, boring re-entry Jessica for our last days together before his mission.
9) The temple didn't work it's magic-all-of-a-sudden-I'm-a-better-mother trick like it usually does.
10) I liked reading, eating, sleeping, swimsuits, exercising, sight-seeing, having a steward a little better than cleaning, counting calories, buying soccer cleats, breaking up fights, quizzing kids on spelling words, jackets and rain.

Do you all remember how I didn't want to go on the cruise? Well, that was idiotic.