January summary

 

In January, we got to work on Emma’s room makeover (her requested birthday present).  It’s only taking 3 times as long as we thought it would.  Here are Ryan and Emma building her hanging bed.  Stay tuned for “After” pictures.

We got a good snowstorm.  This winter has been my favorite Spokane winter ever.  Sunshine, mild temperatures, running outside all winter long and 2 big snowstorms that were enjoyed thoroughly and then melted away within the week.  Here are the kids playing in it.  Yes, I know Seth’s coat is ridiculous.

Faith is 3.  I forgot that 3 is THE COMPLETE WORST AGE EVER.  I’ve had 5 kids and I promise, 3 is waaaay worse than 2.  We have been having LOTS of this:

But then also some of this: (Just so we don’t give up on her before she turns the SUPER FUN age of 4)

(insisting she needs a sleep mask at naptime)

(spending the morning as a pirate and telling us to “go walk off da plank!”  It was pretty cute.)

 

We also spent the last week of January we fun visitors:

 

Ryan’s parents came and stayed and we had the best time with them!

To kick off New Years (and as evidence of the aforementioned mild winter), we took a hike:

(Gabe is starting to only want to hang out with his friends and it’s very sad.  We let him out of this family outing.  Boo.)

Faith finding a stick that looked like an F:

My favorite person:

Where’s Seth?  Look hard…he’s super camouflaged:

 

One afternoon, Gabe was practicing trombone ( ahh! the sweet, sweet sound of sick elephants trumpeting in your living room), and I noticed another tooting sound.  I went to investigate and found this:  Faith tooting in rhythm, in all seriousness.  It cracked me up.

And no year in Blogland is complete without some Crazy Hair Day pictures:

Yay January!

Breakdown #2

(By the way, that’s the most comments I’ve gotten in a year, from that last post.  I’m glad you all feel so vindicated/inspired by my crazy.  And, yes, if you’re not watching Downton Abbey, go get Season #1 from Netflix and start the happy.)

Okay, so this one is an actual VEHICLE breakdown, not a mental parental breakdown. 

We were heading out to Ryan’s uncle’s cabin for an overnighter with Ryan’s parents.  Ryan started out by NOT taking the bumpy road shortcut (we differ greatly on necessity of using this AWESOME shortcut) and so we got separated.  I had Gabe, Seth and Faith in my van and we were happily cruising the 50 minute drive to the lake cabin in Idaho. 

We only visit this cabin once a year and so I needed my handy Google Map GPS on my phone to get me there.  We were approximately 5 miles from our destination and I made the turn onto a road, as directed by my phone.  As I drove down the road, I ended in a driveway and realized I’d taken a wrong turn.  I went to turn around and started slipping on the packed, icy snow.  I got a little worried because my tires aren’t great but just figured we’d inch out of there and be on our way.

There wasn’t a lot of inching, just a lot of tired spinning.

I decided to reverse out of the driveway, considering that reverse generally has more power for getting out of these situations. I put the car in reverse and at the last second decided to check behind me to see where I was going. 

Where I was going was over the edge of a steep hill.  Seriously.  My tire was literally on the edge of a 45 degree inclined hill into 195 trees.  With 3 kids in the car.  In the pitch black.  In 6 inches of snow.

(This is a picture from the area where I was.  Picture this with snow and at nighttime.  And my van’s not quite this nice.)

 

Yikes.  This is one of those times where in my head, for a few seconds, I think “Where is the adult that is going to get me out of this?!”  And then I realize that I’m the only adult around.  It’s kind of a bummer.  (Do you ever do that?)

So, I tried to go forward one more time and immediately one of my tires went ACTUALLY OVER THE EDGE of the hill and so then I was really freaking out.  Luckily, we were 50 yards from a house and so my kids and I said a little prayer that the homeowner would be there and nice and I headed up to knock on this random stranger’s door in the middle of a mountain.

She was 85 years old and so nice (actually remarking later that she was happy for the adventure on a boring Friday night).  The kids watched Disney channel, I got a hold of Ryan, she got a hold of her neighbor who has a CAT and agreed to come drag us out.

The neighbor showed up, a little tipsy (but he was Russian and, due to his mission experience, Ryan enjoys drunk Russians) and he hooked up our van to his tow thingie and yanked us out.  Ryan insisted on paying him and then realized that I had no checks and had only $8 in my wallet and so it was super embarrassing to insist on paying someone a measly $8 but whatever. 

And then we drove the rest of the way to the Romney’s cabin and had a wonderful night.

And that’s the end of my other crazy story from last week.  (But isn’t that so lucky we didn’t slide over the edge of a steep hill covered with trees?!)

The Day I Quit

I’ve got a couple of blogworthy stories to tell you.  Today, we’ll start with my nervous breakdown.

It was a pretty normal day (last Thursday), though I had been feeling A LOT of pressure over the last few days at the amount of stuff I had (always have) to do.  I didn’t wake up super grouchy or stressed or anything.

And then, Gabe was caught for the 3rd time in 24 hours sneaking TV and lying about it and so I had to come up with a consequence that would fit the crime but I knew it would SO bum him out and who wants to be that mean of a mom?  I don’t.  Yuck.

And then Jane flipped out (doing her awesome yell-cry) when I told her that she was going to miss the bus because she was playing with Faith and she still had tons to do and I had to listen to my 9.5 year old yell and cry and yell and cry.  Grrr.

And then Seth ran out the door, late-ish also for the bus and left me with a half-unloaded dishwasher to do.  Awesome.

And then Faith began throwing ANOTHER huge tantrum (she was barfing and scratching her face with her nails) and was refusing to get in the car and all of a sudden I realized that if she didn’t get in the car that instant that it would throw off my WHOLE plan for the day because I had to get to Costco and the library and back by 11:00 in order to get nachos for Ryan’s Valentines Day #2 lunch and I couldn’t be back later than 11:15, because Ryan had a meeting at noon.  And Faith was screaming and destroying her room (and her face) and the kitchen was a disaster area and I couldn’t find all of the library books and it was impossible for me to do my life and I LOST IT.

I LOST IT. I thought through my day quickly and realized that whatever had to happen that day would have to wait.  I wasn’t sending emails or doing Valentines or making dinner or taking people to swimming or putting away the milk.  I was quitting for the day.

I sent Ryan this text:  (jabbing the screen as hard as I could)

I’m done.  Done.  I hate this crappy crappy job and I am done and you are going to have to find someone else to do it, because I’m done.

And then I turned off my phone, unplugged the landline, locked my door, shut my blinds and turned on the second season of Downton Abbey. 

Ryan came home early for lunch and did who knows what.  I assume Faith was fed and put to bed because I wasn’t present.  I read and watched TV and took walks and went to the mall and the library and read and watched TV some more. 

After Faith woke up, she came in to see me and asked me to do something for her and I said “No.  I’m not the Mom today.”  And she said “Well, ‘den’ who are you?” and I said “Just Jessica"."

About 20 minutes later, she was milling around and said “Hey Mo---no, I mean, Jessica.  I love you, Jessica.  I almost said Mom, but you are not Mom, ‘wight’, Jessica?”  And I said “Right”.

Emma and Gabe thought it was the best day ever.  They made cookies and did no practicing or jobs.  When it got time for dinner, Emma organized it and Gabe called around and found a ride to swimming and they took care of Faith.  Jane was a little disturbed and Mr La-La Land (Seth) didn’t know anything was different.

Jane left me a note under my door at about 8:00:  “I’m sorry you had a bad day.  I hope you will be my Mom tomorrow.  I like when you’re my mom.”

And so I was.  And it was good.  That “Day Off” was kind of what I needed to remind me that everything isn’t Immediately Necessary.  I needed a day where I just got to think about me.  I was rejuvenated and ready to love them and take care of them again.

So what do you think of that?

Since it is looks like this today and most days from January to April,

I thought I'd list some things I'm looking forward to, in order to break through the doldrums of a northwest winter.

Today:
Driving Emma to her city choir class, which means a SOLO trip to trader joe's!

This week:
Ryan's parents coming to stay for the weekend

Next week:
I just put list together for the 14 Days of Valentines that I do for Ryan and the kids, and now I can't wait to do it!

In February:
Finishing Emma's room makeover. She's been asking for it for her 13th birthday for months and months. We've gotten started and it's going to be cute. Plus, I'm really appreciating the super positive interactions it's helped Emma and I have.

In March:
One word--HAWAII!!

In April:
Training for my May marathon with my besties. I thought everyone was done running marathons, except me, but my whole running crowd surprised me by wanting to train. Here's to 3 hour long gab, uh, I mean running, sessions.

And by then Spokane will begin to be gorgeous and I will want to live in the moment...until then, I stave off the winter blues any way I can!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Quick Quote

 

(A conversation, post-tantrum)

Faith: "mom are you happy?" 

Mom:  "I've been happy. You were the one having a tantrum"

F: "but I'm not sad now! I des (just) smelled my Special (her blankie) and now I'm happy!" 

Jane: "That's what I do! I mean, not her special, but you know..."

December Summary

It’s all of the usual Holiday stuff…parties, concerts, visitors, presents.  But it was good.  Last December I was struggling with some real depression and it was an awful month.  This year, I just kept reflecting on how much better I felt this time around.  Yay for getting through a hard thing and learning from it!

On to the family stuff:

4 kids in school means LOTS of holiday concerts.  I only got a few pictures, though, because really, my child’s head in a crowd of other kids is kind of pointless.  Emma played in the middle school orchestra, Gabe played with the middle school band (SUPER impressed with that program!), and Jane and Seth sang with their grades at their music programs.  Here’s Jane at hers:

We did lots of partying, too.  Also: barely photo-documented. But we were busy with the ward Christmas party (neat, neat experience:  our ward put on a party for the local women’s shelter.  Such a great idea.), neighborhood cookie exchange, Rowell’s ornament party, book club (where we put together bags to give to those down-on-their-luck people you see off the Division exit in Spokane), Ryan’s work party (we were in a fight the whole time.  Lame.), and our progressive New Years party (pictures are of some of the games we played:) 

 

Lots of fun.  Exhausting, weight gaining fun.

I figured out that if I was going to make these holidays fun for the Mother, too, I needed to have the kids DO THE WORK WITH ME.  Here are pictures of them stuffing Christmas card envelopes, unwrapping candies for cookie ingredients and delivering the goodie plates.  It made my month SO much more fun.

Poor Gabe got braces on the first day of Christmas break.  He had a sore mouth.  And turned into a Older Looking Kid in 2 hours—it was weird.

Christmas Break had almost NO snow (I will NEVER complain about that.  White Christmas, Schmite Christmas.) but was still cold so we did lots of indoor things:

Cookie decorating playdates:

Game playing (here, with Quirkle, a TOTAL hit because it’s a game 6 and up can easily play but adults enjoy):

jump rope/games inside the church gym:

and trips to the children’s museum with Grandma and Bekah:

Also, you’ve got to love the kid who demands you be a good mom to him.  Seth came up to me last month one night and said “Mom.  You have to take me on an alone date.  I really really want to do that with you.”  And how could you say no to that?  Here we are eating frozen yogurt and playing Go Fish:

I have been debating starting a new post dedicated to Christmas, but I’m just going to forge ahead here.  Stop reading, I’ll never know.

For Christmas Eve, Grandma Dorrie and Bekah joined us (yay!) and we did the usual:

Lunch at a restaurant (a local Brazillian place)

and a movie (Muppets.  eh.)

Then we headed to the Daines for the annual Bethlehem dinner and nativity play, where we were completely shocked by the surprise visit of the Romney Grandma and Grandpa! 

And opened the Christmas Eve PJs.  This was the point at which, sick of fighting kids to take decent pictures, I launched the Guilt Trip:  “If you guys had any idea how much time I have spent this month getting Christmas ready for you all, you would BE THRILLED to sit still for 3 minutes to let me get a picture of it!!”  It Worked…sorta.

After, we came home and left donuts and hot chocolate for Santa.

Christmas morning:

And Christmas Fancy Clothes for Church (which, by the way, is just the most lovely way to spend Christmas day:  singing and listening to talks/testimonies praising Jesus Christ.  So perfect.)

I made (if I do say so myself) the BEST MEAL EVER and actually planned ahead (so I wasn’t angrily peeling potatoes while everyone else played) and decorated and everything. 

It was very gratifying. 

Really I would give this December a solid A.  Yay for figuring out how to run our family holiday a little better this year. 

Not a Bed of Roses

In the last 8 hours:

1. Seth and Jane were super late getting ready for school and I yelled "focus!" at Seth in a lame attempt to get him moving.

2. Faith screamed for half of the morning and I thought I was handling it right but I have no idea and it's made me teary with frustration twice

3. She also barfed (in a tantrum) 3 minutes after we headed out for errands so she smelled like vomit the whole time

4. Gabe is sad in his room and after 10 minutes of back rubbing and cajoling, he won't tell me what's wrong

5. Jane just called from school and Seth fell off of his scooter and has a big goose egg on his forehead and the school had me sign a "head trauma" when I picked him up

6. Faith just dumped 400 cashews on the floor and yelled "you are the meanest mom" and is now locked in her room until she can a) talk nicely and b) clean up the nuts

So, today's not awesome. That's all.

Awesome stuff you say because you are a parent:

“I said to clean it off, not lick it off…

but whatever.”

--Ryan (regarding some toothpaste on the staircase bannister)

Just can’t wait to get on the road again…

I am a huge road trip girl.  My whole life, I’ve loaded into a van (or station wagon) and driven at least 12 hours a few times a year.  I’ve learned a lot along the way. 

(p.s.  They don’t always look this angelic.)

I think Road Trip Success comes from 2 things:  Not Being a Wimp (yourself or as a parent) and PLANNING ahead.

1.  Don’t be a wimp.

Seriously.  And don’t let your kids be wimps either.  I think the most important part of going on road trips is just deciding that it’s not that bad to sit still in a car for a day.  My kids know that when they get in that car, we don’t stop for whining or fighting or boredom or hunger or (hardly ever) bathroom needs.  They learn pretty quickly how to entertain themselves.  ESPECIALLY if you aren’t pandering to them. 

     a.  Along with not being a wimp:  drive without your husband!  Take a cell phone, tune up your car, know your route and JUST GO.  What’s the worst that could happen?  Honestly, I almost prefer solo trips because my kids realize that there is no adult that can help them and they bug me less.  Also, I LOVE to listen to audio-books for hours on end.

     b.  Bathrooms:  Force them to go the minute before you leave and at EVERY gas station/restaurant, etc.  Even if they went when you got to McDonalds…make them go as you walk out of the door.  Also, limit soda.  I NEVER let my kids get refills.  Warn that you will NOT be stopping and that they will have to go on the side of the road if they need to go before the next gas/food stop.  And follow through.  I’ve found that sticking in a movie can very effectively distract a 5 year old with a full bladder.

2.  PLAN activities.

Don’t just rely on your movies.  Because a) they’ll get boring and b) come on!  It’s hours and hours!  There’s so much reading, listening, talking and interacting that can be done.  Make movies your treat.

For normal road trips (8-12 hours), I usually bring dvds, children’s audio books on CD, new library books that I don’t let them touch prior to the trip, 1-2 carefully chosen toys.

For our Texas Trip, I did a bit more.  Ryan and I made a binder for each kid and filled it with games (logic puzzles, license plate games, mazes, coloring pages, etc) as well as a map and details of each leg of the trip.  I also created a daily Journal Questionnaire that I asked (made) them fill out every day and hope to turn into a book.  We added lined paper and an envelope with sharpened pencils, crayons, and pens.  The older kids all stuck their homework in that binder and I loved having it all in one place. 

     a. IMPORTANT:  space your activities! NEVER do 2 things at a time.  For example, we’ll get in the car at 4:00 and I’ll tell the kids “We’ll turn on the first movie at 7:00, so sleep or read, but DO NOT make noise”.  At 7:00 they’ll watch their movie and then when the movie has completely ended, I’ll feed them breakfast from our food stash.  When that is totally done and cleaned up, I’ll have them change out of pajamas.  By this time it’s, 9:00…we’re halfway there and they’ve only watched one movie.  I’ll then put in a CD and tell them that in an hour, we’ll do the next movie.  One activity at a time, very spaced out, makes each one new and interesting.

 

It’s not my very favorite thing to stare at the central Montana scenery for hours on end, and I’m thrilled when I jump out of the car, but, honestly, we’ve had so many great experiences due to the cheap method of car travel.  Share your suggestions in the comments, please!

What a Year it’s Been: Family Home Evening, January 1st