Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Why I don’t have a food blog

At a get together a few nights ago, I said that my dream job would be writing a food blog.  (I LOVE these:  Our Best Bites, Taste Buds, Conversations with a Cupcake.)  When I mentioned that we were having cinnamon puffs for Emma’s birthday, Andrea commented that she’d like the recipe.  Since I had some pre-preparation notice, I thought: “I’ll take pictures and post the recipe on the blog.”

Here it is.

Cinnamon Breakfast Puffs

1.  Mix together 1/3 c. butter, 1 egg and 1/2 c. sugar.  Stir in 1/2 c. milk.

Here’s a picture of the batter:

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(Food blogs always have pictures of the baking process.  They also have better cameras.)

2.  Mix together 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder, 1/4 tsp. nutmeg, 1 1/2 c. flour and 1/2 tsp. salt.

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(Food blogs DO NOT show their 4 year olds helping.  And if they did, their 4 year olds would have matching pajamas on.)

3.  Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture and combine thoroughly

4.  Fill greased muffin cups—I use mini-muffin cups because it makes you feel slightly less sick when you eat 5 mini muffins, instead of 2 regular ones.  I think it’s less calories, too.

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5.  Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes (if you are using a mini muffin tin.  I don’t know about a normal one.  REAL food bloggers would know that, but with Everyday Romneys, you are on your own.)  They should be golden brown when done

Also, real food bloggers would have a picture of golden brown-ness here:

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Instead I have a picture of the world’s messiest kitchen.

(Food bloggers always have 1. sparkling kitchens and 2. non-cracked bowls and non-melted spatulas.  They also put away their fry pans from last night’s dinner and do not leave their bowls in the recesses where their soaking gas element used to be.)

6.  Pop the muffins out.  Immediately roll in 8 T. of melted butter (my recipe says 6 but it looks like this: 6T 8T, so you’ll want to go with my fattened flavored up suggestion). 

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(I think I have to get nicer nails, if I want a food blog.)

7.  Roll dripping ball in a mixture of 1/2 c. sugar and 1 tsp. cinnamon.  I think on food blogs, adults take the pictures because when my kids take the pictures you get this:

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Right.  A picture of my hands, with no evidence of popover rolling at all.  Let’s try again:

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Slightly better.  (Ignore the staining on my plastic, dollar-store bowls).

8.  Serve warm, definitely.

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Oh wait.  That picture’s lame.  Let’s try another picture.  Maybe on a blue plate:

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What?  Was I stacking blocks?  And the glare from the counter blends with the muffins.  Lame, again.

Maybe I’ll take some of the happy eaters:

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(Ew.  That one looks gross.  He obviously ate them, as you can see, but: Yuck.)

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(You might be able to see the popover if her bottle wasn’t in the way AND you weren’t distracted by her Baldness-Caused-By-Bow-Rippage).

Oh forget it.  They existed, the kids ate them and loved them. 

Good ahead and try the recipe.  They are really good, even if this blog isn’t. 

26 comments:

Rochelleht said...

Laughing my head off.

Annemarie said...

You're funny. I disagree, you should TOTALLY have a food blog!

The last time I made these they stuck to the top of the muffin pan and we had cinnamon muffin tops. It was lame but they still tasted yummy.

the wrath of khandrea said...

um... if things don't work out with ryan in the long run... would you consider joining skip and i?

you are hilarious AND i want you to cook these for me every morning for breakfast.

please. give it some thought.

Bekah said...

HAHAHA! Oh, you and your adorable children are hilarious! Yum! I want some! Maybe you can make those fattening things when I come up next (whenever that will be)! I love you guys!!!!!

Jeanelle said...

you do need a food blog. And I've seen a variation of this recipe somewhere and have been dying to try it but scared to because it's totally anti-WW. But yum! And you are so dang funny.

Tristan said...

You are too funny! I think your food post was awesome and very well done! I'm totally going to try these! YUM!

Carie said...

I love it. So funny. I am excited to try the recipe. You SHOULD do a food blog. Real cooking.

Have you ever read Get Off Your Butt and Bake? Great food blog.

nurse graham said...

The blog is hilarious! It is your unique way of presenting your cooking adventures that would make you the perfect food blogger.

Lindsey said...

Um, hello??? Seriously? You are using a SPOON to put batter into muffin tins???? Can I get you a pampered chef scoop? LIKE NOW?? I am totally going to send you one to get you out of the dinosaur age... You will thank me.

♥Shally said...

Yummmmmm....

Andrea eating butter AND SUGAR!!?

I gotta see that. :)

buddens said...

This is so funny, thank you!

Adrianne said...

this would be the perfect pre-cursor to your baking business when your kids are older. I totally think you should start a food blog, and everyone would read it b/c you're real. And if would help me enormously if you could post your weekly menu so I didn't have to come up with one on my own. We eat the same.

Kimberly said...

See, I like the idea of a food blog showing what it might actually look like if I prepared the recipe. Kids and all. Except no bow rippage at my house. Hilarious.

J'net said...

You totally have ur mom's hands!!
LOVED the morning in the kitchen w/ MOM!!
I could live w/ u guys and clean up 4 u...
Didn't seem to get the cooking part, I buy packaged! Talked about the ebel skevers last night n once again... those were memories of cooking at ur growing up house! Fun times in the kitchen!!

Lauren in GA said...

You are positively hilarious, Jessica. I enjoyed the commentary about things like Seth needing matching pajamas and eating 5 mini muffins making you feel less sick than 2 regular ones. I would definitely read your food blog. You make me laugh and have delicious recipes.

I need a 4 year old to help me with making these. I'll send for Seth. Thanks for your help.

Brooke said...

I like the idea of atleast a menu for the week. (O.K. I just need someone else to think of my food for me.) Those muffins look delicious! :)

Christie said...

You need a food blog, honey. You are awesome at food blogging.

Robin said...

If you did have a food blog I would read it everyday for posts like this! Awesome.

剩沒底天 said...

Necessity is the mother of invention...................................................

GWACK said...

I made these just last week (I think I found it on the PW blog) and they were to die for! I ate three regular ones each day until they were gone. I agree with Lindsay that a scoop makes putting the batter into the pan easier and they came out all the same size. I love food blogs. I would definitely add yours to my list of favorites.

Tammy said...

Hilarious!

Tammy said...

Hilarious!

the wrath of khandrea said...

i'll interpret your silence to mean "no".

fine. no hard feelings.

gab said...

Marta's in-laws make these for every special occasion. They call them "FBP's"! I made them once and then, promptly put them in the ebelskiver category. Delicious, but too much work.

I am suspicious of over-perfect food blogs. Yours was a welcome change.

elizabeth scott said...

YUMMMMM!!!!! You make me hungry! Annemarie I love your hair! I wish I had thick hair like that!

Erika said...

are u still biting your finger nails?