Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Coming to terms with it.

My mother can kind of do anything. She's a great pianist, artist, hostess, teacher, organizer, cook. I really could go on and on.



And that lady can really put together some great Halloween costumes. She is a great seamstress and really loves holidays so, as kids, we had the most darling costumes, homemade, every year.



A sampling:












(Incidentally...this is the year, I officially realized I was too old to trick or treat, when one grumpy home-owner queried: "Shouldn't you be home shaving?!" And Crystal--notice Amy in the background).





This cosumes were all hand-sewn...along with my siblings. I used to feel--seriously--sorry for the kids in my classes who would come to school with the plastic Snow White mask over there face and would really think: "Their mom must just not love them as much as mine."




See... I have deep-rooted feelings about the importance of Halloween costumes!


So then I started having children and was all gung-ho about making them great costumes.






Except...






I don't sew.






At all.






I really can't even make the no-sew costumes that magazines put out in every October issue.




But I tried, because I couldn't just BUY their costumes! Really loving mothers don't do that! Here is Emma's 2nd and Gabe's 1st Halloween:






They were peas and carrots. They looked really cute (though Emma kept pleading to take it off: "No no want it carrots, Mom!"), but were completely falling apart before the Snickers' wrappers did.



The next year, I scoured magazines and tried to decide how to live up to this Halloween-Costume-Ideal in my head. I gave up the idea of homemade. But, I figured the next best thing was matching costumes. Emma would be Belle (purchased dress, altered by my MOTHER of course) and Gabe (Beast, purchased lion costume, with Grandma-made prince attire over the top).




The next year, it all came to a head. I had three kids, no sewing skills, no mother close-by and children who seemed to think THEY should choose their own costumes (excuse me?). And that's when I discovered:









That's right. Grandma Target.



It took a few years to feel totally comfortable with it. (My mom is so nice, when I apologize/explain the lack of Love-Filled-Homemade Costumes: "Oh, honey. They're so much better made nowadays. I would buy them now, too, I promise.") I felt guilty every time I opened up that web page. I gazed wistfully/jealously at others' homemade works of art.





(the fateful first year of --gasp!--store bought costumes)



I'm over that.



There is great joy in our house, when I announce (with all the love, nurturing and warmth this Mommy has to offer): "Be thinking about your costumes, guys! It's family-crowd-around-the-computer-and-pick-out-your-costume-night tonight."



I'm pretty sure they still know their Momma loves them.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Good Old Sunday Summary

On Monday, our little preschool co-op went to the pumpkin patch. We'd neglected to reserve an official tour, so we wandered around in the pumpkin fields, picking through the rotten pumpkins and then pushed them toward a cornfield and said, "Okay! Walk through the corn maze!" The bigger kindergartners (Jane and cousin Elise), who had gone on an Official Field Trip with the Kindergarten, kept saying, "But this isn't right! There's no path!" Luckily, 3 year olds are too dumb to care about "Official Field Trips" and loved being outside by tractors, hay trucks and rotting pumpkins.
For Family Home Evening, we did a Food Storage Assessment night--basically we went through our food storage and counted how much of everything we have, and what things need updating, in order to get to a full years' supply. Surprisingly, the brownies, chocolate chips and canned peaches had been completely depleted. Above is Gabe re-enacting how many cans of Spaghetti Sauce we have. We finished the night with cookies made entirely from food storage (except the eggs and butter)...peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chip (used the last bag!) cookies.
Oh! Guess what?!
We got booed on Thursday night!!
Who would have guessed, I'd get booed?!
Crazy!
Here's us returning the Boo favor. We made sugar cookies. Can you guess which cookies got delivered and which got left home for personal Romney enjoyment?
Our across the street neighbors hosted the second annual pumpkin carving party. I love this party. You know why? Because then I don't have to do it myself! They served carrot soup and roasted apples and Emma carved this darling pumpkin all by herself. The boy on the left, later in the day, did a little pre-Halloween vandalism and smashed her pumpkin in the driveway. Can you say Future Juvenile Delinquent?
Today was the Primary Program. Jane (see above in her Shabby Apple/Primary Program special attire) has stage fright issues. We talked about it a little today and she said, "I think before I go up there, I will say a prayer and ask to not be scared." It must have worked because she didn't burst into tears until after she'd delivered a memorized and darling "Our Prophet today is Thomas S. Monson." Gabe and Emma did their parts totally tearless.
In the audience was this guy. He didn't pay attention to anything his siblings said, but he must be paying attention somewhere. During the administration of the sacrament, I asked him what the bread helps us remember. His reply? "Jesus died and they hurt his hand like dis: Bam! Bam! (simulating hammer-pounding on his hand) and his shoes like dis: Bam! bam! and his side like dis Bam!Bam!" (see above for Bam! demonstration).
So, on that uplifting note...we'll leave you for this week. Bam!

Quick Quote #27


When asked why she kept leaving an important thing (to her) laying around the house, Jane explained, through tears: "It was because I am little and I don't know how to take cawe of my stuff berry good, like a parent."

Thursday, October 16, 2008

And Isn't it Ironic?


So, in years past, Ryan has heard me rail against the Boo** (see below for explanation) sign:
"Seriously? Who starts this? Do we need MORE candy, MORE treats or MORE assignments (returning the favor) in our lives as the holiday/eating season begins?! I don't want to even pass this thing on!"
I've been annoyed for years at this practice. Usually, I'm watching my calories (in advance of the Thanksgiving and Christmas bingeing) and I have a hard enough time, without dealing with an EXTRA goodie plate. And my kids are starting to get enough sugar at school, church, the bank, that it's starting to pour our their ears.
So this year, when I saw this sign, I mentally rolled my eyes. "Hmph. Maybe I'll do a post, when we get 'Boo'ed', about how much I dislike this thing," I thought.
And then we never got one.
And my new "3rd Trimester Diet Plan" which mainly involves a constant stream of sugar running through my veins, mainly between the hours of 6pm and 12am, was SORELY DISRUPTED.
Where are my Boo-ers? Why, during this year of extreme sugar-consumption by me, am I not receiving my lovely Ghost poster (I even had to have a friend take pictures of hers and email it to me), the cornily-rhymed message and, most importantly, PLATE OF SUGAR?
Is this Karma for years of complaining? Is my husband hiding the Boo, knowing that every morning I regret the "3rd Trimester Diet Plan" by moaning and complaining about how much weight I'm gaining? Are their Halloweens goblins at work here?
Am I getting what I deserve?
**the Boo sign: a photocopied picture of a ghost, with a poem that instructs the receivers to hang the sign in her window (see Denae's post for anti-sign-hanging-desires) to let people know you've been boo'ed, more instructions to pass along the Halloween goodwill in the form of treats...and a plate o' goodies.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Doing it...Sherrill style

If you take a 8 hour road trip, by yourself, when you are 36 weeks pregnant...You're doing it Sherrill style.

If you all bunk up in some extended (or in this case, in-law) family's basement...You're doing it Sherrill style.

If you drive to Yellowstone National park, even when they've predicted a snow-storm...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you pay the $25 entrance fee, even though there are snowflakes as big as quarters...you're doing it Sherrill style.



If you stop at every animal viewing, regardless of whether they are dangerous (hello, coyote)...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you make sure everyone knows it's BISON never BUFFALO (unless you are in India) ...you're doing it Sherrill style. **bison in the background, here:
If you stand around watching for Old Faithful, only to see a big puff of steam...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you stop at every possible sign with explanatory words...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you go to the broken Teton Dam site, because the museum was closed...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you think bowling with a bunch of kids is fun...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you go to the local temple, even in bad weather and even though you've already been there...you're doing it Sherrill style (this one is predominantly Bekah style).

If you like having grandkids/nephews/nieces constantly in your face...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you go to all three hours of church, even on vacation...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you have a sweet baby (the hair is NOT Sherrill style) that you bless (and you get choked up during the administration of the blessing)...you're doing it Sherrill style.

If you have a family that loves to get together, doesn't care about noise, loves the Gospel, fights over newborns, will eat anything put in front of them, and cries when it's time to leave...you're doing it Sherrill style.
(explanatory note: The Sherrills are Jessica's side of the family. Nate (her middle, younger brother) and Kelsie, blessed baby Luke in Idaho Falls last weekend. We are hardcore travelers, visitors, baby-lovers--and we know it.)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Business Plan

I've got this great idea for making TONS of money.

This is it:

1) Buy a bunch of goldfish for 5 cents each.

2) Retail them (if you want) for 12 cents each. But this is NOT your big money-maker. Just wait.

3) Go to children's school carnivals and offer to give away FREE goldfish if little children can toss a ball into a floating pie tin.
4) Figure that exhausted, very pregnant mothers will never catch onto your scheme and will just be content that the kids are happily tossing.
5) Don't actually GIVE the fish to the children. Give them coupons to come to your store to redeem the little fishies.
6) Hope that the father-less, exhausted, pregnant mother will be thrilled for a fun Family Home Evening, in which she envisions happily Pet-Store-Occupied children enraptured for hours on end, while she rests on a bench.
7) Have a gung-ho, animal loving employee that can guilt the mom (the father would never fall for any of this) into getting
  • a bigger fishbowl than she wanted ("They'll die in a few days, ma'am, if you buy that small one),
  • water conditioner ("Spokane has a LOT of chlorine that could kill these sweet little fishies...")
  • neon colored rocks
  • fish food (sorry, you'll have to just settle for the cheapest fish food purchase...this mom is starting to wise-up)

8) Realize that you have given away .20 worth of actual goldfish and have sold a grand total of $18.73 worth of fish merchandise.

9) Bask in your riches and wisdom.

10) Enjoy pictures of children everywhere enjoying their new friends:






Monday, October 6, 2008

Sunday Summary: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

The Dr. Jekyll (crazy, angry, messy) part of the week included:

--Ryan being gone M, T, W, Th, F.
--Ryan not reachable at all, since he doesn't have a cell phone or an office where he is
--Gabe falling off of his bike AND THEN THE NEXT DAY Emma's scooter
--Gabe not being able to chew anything, which necessitated smoothie runs every lunchtime and spilled soup (he had NO lunch the whole day, because when I called to make sure he would get something they told me they had it taken care of and they didn't!!)
--Preschool at my house Monday, almost Wednesday and Friday (cute kids, cute curriculum, just not a good week for it)
--Jane locking my keys in the car
--hideous RLS as a result of pregnancy, so I can't sleep EVER.
--a VERY not patient, not enjoying her children mother

I could only manage one picture for this NOT FUN part of the week (Seth prepping the apples for the apple pie we made during preschool):

The Mr. Hyde (calm, loving, rational) part of the week included:

--Ryan coming home.
--Ryan taking us all to Greenbluff Apple Festival

and buying us whatever our hearts desired (and if anyone knows Ryan, you understand that he couldn't possibly show us he loves us more than by allowing us to spend WITHOUT a budget): trips through the maze,

the pumpkin patch
,
$6 blackberry syrup from the gift shop,
overpriced bbq for everyone and
the legendary pumpkin donuts from Harvest House.
--A quiet lovely late dinner date at a trendy, expensive (the guy was Mr. Moneybags!) restaurant downtown.
--Watching General Conference.

Here's Jane coloring the conference packet I print out,( so everyone will be quiet and then I spend the whole time explaining directions, breaking up fights about Jane looking on Emma's Bingo sheet and Seth coloring on others' sheets...). I felt like it was just chock full of messages of hope, comfort and examples of how very personally our Heavenly Father loves us. Favorites: Elder Bednar, Elder Anderson, Elder Holland, Elder Oaks.
--a fun dinner with friends we don't see enough.
--the kids spending every free minute putting together Powerpoint presentations on colors, foods, sports, etc.


We're hoping to have more Mr. Hyde this week. Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

My Two Cents

(by Ryan...apparently people are confused about who stresses out about money the most in our family...)

The "Financial Crisis," which is being described as the worst financial dilemma since The Great Depression, has been on my mind - A LOT. Even after stewing over it for a couple weeks, I can hardly discuss it without getting fired up. It is like discussing a recent argument before you have had enough time to really calm down. You know the type, where everything you say only gets you more riled up and angry. So if I storm off before I finish, then please forgive me.


Money brings happiness is the epic lie that is bought and sold by Americans to Americans around the clock (don't worry we are generously sharing it with the rest of the world too). It is a foundation of advertising and is subtlety shown on televisions and movie screens even when commercials are not. It is hawked in the suburbs, on the freeways and at my last high school reunion. Americans have bought the lie so fully that money has become the tool of measurement for how "well off" our fellow Americans are. This isn't even a very good lie. We see examples of its deception all around us, so much so that even reading it we immediately lump ourselves into the category of enlightened souls who don't buy into it. But is that true? Have we really declined the lie? Don't we think that if the house was a little bigger or the car a little nicer or our clothes a little better then we would be happier. Yet each upgrade does nothing to permanantly change our overall satisfaction. We get a momentary buzz and then go on to look for our next fix.


Our greed has made even us uncomfortable. However, rather than quell the greed, we have shifted our paradigm to accommodate our greed by commuting our wants to needs. Americans don't even know the difference between wants and needs anymore. Could I really not survive without cable/dish, another cell phone, another car, a pedicure, a new <fill in the blank>? Really? Would it kill me? And so we change our language to obscure the truth. "I want" becomes, "I deserve." Things that used to be classified as an extra or something we want is now justified because we "deserve" it.


So Americans buy what they cannot afford. When I went to buy a car, most dealers could not understand the concept of negotiating the price of the car. They always wanted to negotiate the monthly payment. "How much do you want to spend a month?" The exasperated salesman would plead. Americans define what they can afford by whether they can make the minimum monthly payment. This might seem reasonable to many, but what usually gets neglected is an accurate calculation of what they really need left over for daily expenses not to even mention what happens when the car breaks down unexpectedly, or some other unintended expense pops up. "Isn't that what credit cards are for?" NO! This is how we end up people making monthly payments on houses and cars and furniture and electronics and credit cards and on and on. "So what?" "Why do you care?" Let's just pretend for a minute like all the foreclosures going on around the country aren't affecting my house price, my job market and my investments. That mentality is wreaking havoc on my government.


We live in a country with a representative democracy which in our case is a great representation of the people behind it. Our government buys WAY more than it can afford. Way way way more. Last year alone we overspent by roughly $330 Billion (a third of a TRILLION dollars). We treat our national budget like our personal budgets, except for unfortunately we feel less burdened by the national debt plus we have avaricious politicians who are all too eager to help us spend our money on ourselves to cinch up their re-election efforts. This only exacerbates the problem causing us to dip even deeper into the hole.

Currently the US National Debt is $10,029,611,831,671 (That's just over 10 TRILLION Dollars). That boils down to $32,901 of debt per PERSON. If your kids have as much as mine do, I am looking at a debt of $230,307 for my household alone. And once you factor in the money we owe for all the programs we have obligated ourselves to but not saved for (i.e. Medicaid, social security, Medicare, etc.) that figure jumps to a little more than a half million Dollars per household. Do you have half a mill' lying around the house somewhere? "So what?" "Why do you care?" Well -


Question: Do you know what number is even bigger than the amount the government overspent last year?


Answer: The number of Dollars we paid towards INTEREST on the national debt.


Our debt makes it increasingly difficult to balance the budget from year to year. Sound familiar? So if we owed less ... we could spend more on those things we "deserve" like health care, poverty, job creation, etc. Heck we could plunk down more than half of the government's original bailout package without needing to ask China to "spot us" $700 Billion till next payday. Our Dollar wouldn't be falling through the floor. Heck ... maybe we could keep more of our hard earned money in our own pocket.

We are such a nation of overspenders that the Holy Grail of government finance is to balance the budget (that's only the yearly budget). Let's forget that no one (except for Bill Clinton during the high times of the 90's) has managed to do that for decades. But we don't even bring up (except for "crazy" Ross Perot in the '80s) the idea of paying off the national debt. We can't even stop the bleeding from year to year.


Our government is so ridiculous that while we are trying to figure out how to revive our economy, the senate couldn't help but tack on an EXTRA $100 Billion of pork (i.e. $100B of the spending has NOTHING to do with the bailout). Seriously? We are facing the largest financial crisis since the Great Depression and we can't keep from adding on spending amendments to the bailout package. Incredible.


In the presidential debates, you would have thought that Jim Lehrer was trying to pull teeth when trying to get the candidates to explain what parts of their budgets they were going to cut in order to account for the huge price tag of the bailout. Both candidates couldn't identify anything concrete the first time around. Then on the second pass one of the candidates had the audacity to hope that I wanted to hear what spending he wasn't going to cut AND then added that he would not abandon plans to expand the budget to include a health care plan for every American that no one on either side of the isle is very clear on how we will pay for it.

I am obviously beside myself with indignation over the American people's spending habits. I realize that you might not be able to cough up your half million right now, but we can be a little more reasonable in our personal spending as well as the type of spending that will earn our vote for our city council person, our senator and our president. If we don't make some serious changes to our own habits, then maybe, just maybe we can create a financial crisis that will finally beat the Great Depression once and for all.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Mom Who Cried Wolf

Here's your scenario:

You're 40 minutes from Co-op Preschool starting AT YOUR HOUSE. You are all ready, except the house needs to be cleaned. Big kids are off to school and little kids are dressed.



Oh wait, big kids aren't off to school. Gabe has just shown up at your door, bawling, with two stranger-moms, who found him after his big bike accident. (Apparently, it's not a good idea to have your lunch bag swinging from your front handle bars, as it can get wedged between the tire and the bike and cause your tire to completely stop and throw you over the front of the bike). He is bleeding from a big scrape on his chin and seems to be in a lot of pain. You thank the nice moms who walked him home and carried his bike and you bring him inside.



You give him Tylenol and clean the cut and hug him and then you tell him to lay down and try and relax. But he keeps crying. Well, yelling, actually. Gabe howls really annoyingly loud when he's in pain. You, frankly, get kind of annoyed (it's just a chin scrape after all) and tell him to settle down. Besides you have preschool and you'll just see how he feels in 2 hours when it's done.

When you head back upstairs, to your room to do your hair, you watch him (on your bed) continue, 30 minutes after the accident, writhe in pain, holding his jaw and saying he can't open his mouth. It kind of makes you start to cry.

But you pride yourself on not overreacting to illness or accidents--your kids are tough and, after all, you know when they're really in need of medical help. You don't want to be the kind of mom who Cancels Preschool For No Reason And Makes The Doctor Get An X-Ray When There's Nothing Wrong! Right?

So what do you do? Seriously. What would you do?



This is what I did:

I called a Preschool Mom, told her we'd reschedule for Friday morning and asked her, through tears, to call the other moms.

I then called the doctor and they had me come in.



When I get there, the doctor doesn't seem to think anything's wrong (and I start to feel annoyed/stupid that I brought him in when, logically, there couldn't be anything REALLY wrong from a chin scrape), but then she felt something at the point of pain and decides to send him to X-ray.

We went and got the X-ray. Gabe is, of course, at this point, not crying at all but still can't open his mouth. (He swears he's lost a tooth, but when asked to count with his tongue the teeth on the opposing side, he realizes there are the same number of teeth on BOTH sides. Phew.)

We got home and he asks if he can go to school. I say "Um, no, we should wait and find out if your jaw is broken"--which OF COURSE I don't really want, except the little part of me that wants this to be a big medical deal, so I don't feel dumb for the uproar I caused all morning.

They call. The jaw is fine.

Fine. Totally fine.

Now I'm officially Mom Who Cancels Preschool For No Reason And Makes The Doctor Get An X-Ray When There's Nothing Wrong!

Here's Gabe and Chin-in-Question, who really was/is in a lot of pain and can only eat yogurt and soup for dinner, because he really can't open his mouth.

Seriously, I hate this dilemma. How much of a "deal" do you make of injuries, illnesses, owies, complaints? When are you overreacting? When are you neglectful? Ryan's always telling me to take them in, or call someone, when I think they're fine. Which then makes me feel neglectful and selfish, but really I just think I have a lot of experience with doctors, what they can and can't do to help and with my kids and how each one reacts to pain, etc.




So anyway, today I really hurt my reputation as Mom Who Only Reacts To True Medical Emergencies. I'll have to ignore a few ear infections and stitch-needing cuts to bring my average back up.