Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Business Plan

I've got this great idea for making TONS of money.

This is it:

1) Buy a bunch of goldfish for 5 cents each.

2) Retail them (if you want) for 12 cents each. But this is NOT your big money-maker. Just wait.

3) Go to children's school carnivals and offer to give away FREE goldfish if little children can toss a ball into a floating pie tin.
4) Figure that exhausted, very pregnant mothers will never catch onto your scheme and will just be content that the kids are happily tossing.
5) Don't actually GIVE the fish to the children. Give them coupons to come to your store to redeem the little fishies.
6) Hope that the father-less, exhausted, pregnant mother will be thrilled for a fun Family Home Evening, in which she envisions happily Pet-Store-Occupied children enraptured for hours on end, while she rests on a bench.
7) Have a gung-ho, animal loving employee that can guilt the mom (the father would never fall for any of this) into getting
  • a bigger fishbowl than she wanted ("They'll die in a few days, ma'am, if you buy that small one),
  • water conditioner ("Spokane has a LOT of chlorine that could kill these sweet little fishies...")
  • neon colored rocks
  • fish food (sorry, you'll have to just settle for the cheapest fish food purchase...this mom is starting to wise-up)

8) Realize that you have given away .20 worth of actual goldfish and have sold a grand total of $18.73 worth of fish merchandise.

9) Bask in your riches and wisdom.

10) Enjoy pictures of children everywhere enjoying their new friends:


Heidi Ashworth said...

Commercialism sucks that way. But your kids are cute, so life is good.

Lindsey said...

I have something I would like to sell to you......But, I can't think of what it is because my brain is missing TOO!! (Pregnancy does that to you) You will be more wise when not pregnant. I promise.

diane said...

Oh, you got played.

I bet the kids are happy.

Laurie said...

They should be okay until the first water changing. We started with a bowl like that, changed the water one night, and spent the rest of the evening watching the fish die off one by one.

The boys were so sad, we HAD to go back and get an even bigger tank, with a filter, with a bubbler, with a sunken treasure chest (of course), and with some kind of water treatment that makes the water so it doesn't kill them.

They've lived much longer. Not sure if that's a good thing.

G and G Nut said...

Are the fishies traveling to Idaho Falls too????

queenieweenie said...

sucker! I can only say that 'cause it's happened to me too!

The Parkers said...

Brilliant! Same thing worked on me with mice.

Lauren in GA said...

Wow! That is a sound buisness plan, indeed.

Shameless pet store tycoons.

I love the pictures though...especially the action shot of Emma and Jane putting the rocks into the bowl :)

rubberbandgirl said...

In regards to Laurie's comment: Try not changing all the water completely.
Good luck with that!

andrea said...

what the clever salesperson neglected to mention is that by buying the slightly larger fishbowl, it will only take them slightly LESS time to die.

but the look on jane's face pouring the rocks into the bowl makes it all worth it.

Christie said...

Oh, he got you good. Dang, wish I'd have thought of it first.

Wanna win a free hermit crab?

AMY said...

YES! Our preschool field trip last year was to a pet store. Aidan came home with water frogs and everything that goes with them. Sadly... how was I the only parent sucked in that day?

At least your kids are old enough to feed them and clean the bowl :)

Meg said...

Oh my! That is funny!

We had fish in a bowl for a long time but they kept leaving us for heaven early.

We have an aquarium now and they die only once a year. Yeah.

Kara said...

Our boys purchased a set of goldfish shortly after we moved here over 4 1/2 years ago. One FINALLY died last summer and the other is still going strong. You can save money by just filling an old milk jug with tap water when you clean the bowl and let it sit with the lid off until the next time you clean the bowl. Use the water from the jug to fill the bowl and then refill the jug for next time. It's what the fish salesman told us to do and our fish have obviously done too well.
I'm a true pet lover, can't you tell? Good luck.

J'net said...

Where are the little green float-y things that collect slime? WE HAVE some for you, should I mail 'em?
LOVE those fisheys, now we just SNORKEL and look at them in their NATURAL habitat... SO, buy 6 tickets to Kauai and save $ on the gold fish next time!! Your baby will be a lap child for 2 years so come on over!!

Lisa-Marie said...

You know the true measure of a mom when you see whether they will let their kids have fish or not. I will not. I lose. Congrats!

P.S. YES to Idaho Falls! I'll e-mail ya.

Paige said...

I give it a week. But he's right about that annoying chlorine stuff. Fish are the best pets. I do hope they die before you have to clean the bowl though.

Erika said...

hey - no Idaho this weekend. But we'll be in Provo - let me know if you head further south. good luck with your belly and the drive. yuck.

Lisa-Marie said...

thought i had your address. i don't.

e-mail me.

lisamariejensen at gmail dot com

Lisa-Marie said...

thought i had your address. i don't.

e-mail me.

lisamariejensen at gmail dot com

Bridget said...

I hate when I get suckered like that. I have a feeling on Monday when I take our new kitten into the vet that I will hear that the Purina kitten chow I am feeding her is inferior and if I really loved my cat I would buy expensive brand x cat food so she'll live much longer. I'm bracing for it.

Ilene said...

So does that bowl mean the fish will now live for two weeks?

You ARE at that crazy stage of pregnancy if you think my post about late night feedings looks fun.

It isn't. But Laura slept a solid five hours last night and I am loving her a lot this morning.

Jenibelle said...

That gold fish is never going to die. My kids poured a bottle of baby shampoo into our fish tank, it bubbled for weeks and those dang fish lived through the ordeal.
Just trying to give you some encouragement.

Jenibelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AZ Karen said...

It's a great scheme. I'm surprised no one has thought of it yet.

Meghann said...

I'm afraid to buy because because I'm afraid they'll never die. I hardly clean my own bathtubs enough, how on earth would I find time to clean the fish-bowl?