Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Growing Pains

So Faith is getting older and I’m really, very sad about it. (She turns 3 next week.  Boo.)

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I’m so sad about it that I’ve seriously contemplated having another baby.  Which is saying a lot because I have been So Done With Having More Kids for at least 2 years now.  I’m NOT having another baby because I remember that being pregnant is hard and losing the weight is hard and nursing is hard and teaching a baby how to sleep is hard.  And then my friend talked about how she doesn’t like the feeding kids baby food stage and I remembered I don’t like that stage either.  And then I watched Parenthood and Christina just brought home her new baby and I remembered that leaky, sleepy, crying, hormonal, chubby, confused stage and I don’t want to do that anymore.

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So I’m not having another baby.  Because you can’t just keep having babies because you are sad that your current “baby” is turning 3.  You have to have a Last One, right?!  And at some point just come to terms that your house will be baby-less at some point.

And that you have to figure out how to say goodbye to:

1.The lisping.

2. The sweet, yummy, perfect lips and cheeks.

3. The 36 inch person who thinks they know all of the stuff and are the boss of the house.

4. The buddy that, no matter how frustrating at time, also fills you with joy and laughter.

5.  The running and hugging and yelling when you walk in the door.

6.  The extreme expression of likes, dislikes, excitement (“Mom, I’m des so decited that my burtday is almost coming!”), happiness, etc. 

7-438.  Other really awesome things about having babies and toddler and pre-schoolers in your home.

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So, I honestly am sitting down and reading to Faith a little more often than I used to.  I’m turning off the radio and listening to her hilariousness while we run errands.  I’m stopping and putting her on the counter by me and looking into her eyes and watching her face while she talks.  I’m climbing in her bed after we are done with the routine and smashing her a little while longer before I head to my other kids/book/TV show. 

And I’m really trying to remember this quote:

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(Except I’m actually crying right now, so I have to keep working on this one.)

All I have to say is having little kids is a joy and I am fortunate to have gotten to have one in my life for 12 years now and I will miss having a 2 year old because it’s (mostly) fun.

20 comments:

Kimberly said...

Made me a little teary eyed. I love my kids getting older, but I will always miss their little snuggly bodies.

Christie said...

Honey, that first picture makes ME want to have another baby. And I've been done for a good 9 years now. For what it's worth, you do have such beautiful babies and the world wouldn't necessarily be a bad place if you had another one...

Ashley said...

What a great post and beautiful pictures. Thanks for a great reminder about the greatness of baby stages that are sometimes tricky and hard.

Lauren in GA said...

I am crying right now...like, hard. This was beautiful, Jessica.

I want another baby. I know it's crazy...but I do.

...so now I am going to repeat that lovely quote to myself, over and over...because I need to smile because it happened...and be grateful that my little Jonn lived.

Mark said...

Great post Jess. You and your family are awesome.

Nikki said...

I so get this entire blog in a painful way. My baby is 5 and it still is stinky everytime he seems bigger. There is a great childrens book (that I'll have to remember the title to tell you) that talks about how we celebrate "firsts" but we never know when "lasts" are happening. Just enjoy them. All I can think is how impossible it would be to get up in the night for feedings. We've moved on to shaving, dances and girls calling on the phone....it's all fun!

GWACK said...

I feel the same way although my baby is two and 4 months and I've only had three. I'm 99.9% sure that she's our last. She called me "Mom" for the first time today. Not "Mama" but "Mom." It's sad and happy all at the same time.

Paige said...

I think almost every mom feels like this with her last! But I really love love love having older, fun kids.

In a way I'm a little lucky that I don't HAVE to decide if I want another kid, because obviously no hubby. Also, the niece/nephew babyhood thing is my true life joy. I get as much time with Ellie's kids as I could ever want and I get to have the baby for a week while she goes to Cambodia in November and I am so excited! My other kids will be neglected. And then I get to give him back!

But only you know what is right for you and your family. If God wants you to have another one he will let you know. Otherwise, Old, pre-teen kids are SO FUN! No clue about teens but I'm sure it's gonna be bad with the girls.

jessica said...

You know I am feeling your pain right now. I am SO SO going through the exact same emotions...except the part that I could actually get pregs again. It makes that decision a whole lot easier for me;)

Lauren in GA said...

I came back to tell you that I'm sorry for making my comment all about me...

I understand what you are saying...and I'm sorry it's hard and makes you cry.

This was such a beautiful, perfectly put post. I am so, so, grateful for the quote you shared. It will be my new mantra ☺

Camden said...

I often have to stop myself from copying and pasting your posts into my own blog. It's just that you say things so well and seem to mirror my own feelings. How's this--my youngest just turned 5! How's that for a blow. I don't even have a toddler anymore. I can relate.

Margaret said...

I loved this post!

Brooke said...

Jessica,
This post for me completely. I absolutely love that quote and want it framed in my home. If you know where I can get it, I want it. I'm not sure if you have heard our news but I just found out Jake is our last baby and that has been quite an adjustment to realize. I feel like I can't get enough of all the moments I need to soak up. Just the simple stuff, I'm realizing how much I will miss soo much. Anyway thanks for making me feel like someone understands how I feel.

diane said...

She is precious. My baby girl is 19. I miss her something fierce. The good news is I have a grandson to fill my aching arms. Grankids are the best because it is all about fun. Enjoy every one of your lasts with your sweet baby.

Sarah Junsay said...

I seriously love your posts! (I don't mean to stalk you...I went to school w/ Ryan...Sarah Barnum here!) This post was beautiful! We're pregnant with our 4th and last and went through a time before I got pregnant not knowing if I would get pregnant again. I'm enjoying my 3 other boys so much more now and enjoying the stages they are in. Thanks for the reminder! I'll try to stay happy during the all night feedings :)

Rochelleht said...

Well, when your kids are as cute as your's, who wouldn't want to keep the baby factory open!?

Bethany said...

Now you can become one of those over-zealous women who run up to stressed women w/ children in the store and say, "enjoy every moment because it'll be gone before you know it!" And it's true- it does go by too fast. But you ARE enjoying it and you HAVE enjoyed it and you have lots of posts to prove it.

I want to save this to read someday when I'm there.

Meridith said...

Thanks Jessica. I loved this sweet post. I am so grateful for the children I have and the joy they bring into my life.

Elizabeth said...

Like all your gorgeous readers I agree that saying bobbye to babyness is hard and it all goes way too quickly.

I love my kids ages now but I still miss the little years.

Also for what its worth I would say to anyone with babes ... record them alot now because when they are say 14 you will wish you had more footage of them dancing singing and just talking about stuff!

Tammy said...

As I embark FINALLY on the family train and baby train, I enjoyed reading about how much happiness the babies brought you. I hope that I have the same experience and emotions as I face this new world. You are amazing to have raised 5 of them so well.