Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Sis. Alligator gets released

**Those who do not attend my church, might be confused by many of the references here.  I put links to explanatory webpages, should you be interested.

So if we have to travel on Sunday (like last week on our way home from our Bear Lake weekend), we find a Sacrament meeting and then drive the rest of the time.  Because we are missing Primary and Sunday School, we do our best to replicate those meetings in the car with the kids.  It passes the time, counts as Family Home Evening for the week and we don’t feel bad about ditching the last two hours of church. 

Here’s the Agenda from last Sunday’s Traveling Primary:

Conducting: Sister Mom

Welcome visitors/new members to Primary:  Faith

Recognize Birthdays:  Seth (real birthday is 8/28 but asks us EVERY DAY if his birthday is “tomorrow”…I even found a pencil to hand to him, as his Primary present)

Scripture:  Jane (“I will go and do the things…”)

Prayer:  Seth

Talk:  Emma (read story from The Friend and discussed)

Sharing Time:  Sister Man, who used the Sharing Time lesson in The Friend, and did a very good job.

Picture 093

Singing Time:  Sis Alligator …and this is where it all broke down.

  Picture 094

Sister Alligator did not do a very good job fostering reverence.  She wore her sun glasses, made inappropriate jokes, sang VERY rudely and ate baby’s legs.  Finally, Sister Mom had to step in and tell the Primary that Sister Alligator had been abruptly released from her calling and singing time would now be run by Sister Mom. 

After many efforts to wrangle giggly kids (and allow Seth to sing his sobbing solo of “I Lived in Heaven”), we finished singing time and proceeded to the..

Closing Prayer: Gabe

Don’t hurt yourself in your rush to get your records transferred to our “ward”…our van only seats 7.


Jeanelle said...

I know it's lame to only say "that's so stinkin' funny" but seriously, this was so stinkin' funny.

the wrath of khandrea said...

i wish i could post a video clip in the comments of me snorting while i laugh.
this was awesome. you guys kill me.

sister alligator.

did seth sit on her lap? no?
i trump sister alligator.

Annemarie said...

Not only is Sis Alligator genius, I am super impressed with your efforts to go to church "on the road." I wish I could say we were that stalwart.

rubberbandgirl said...

That's so funny!

Paige said...

I am dying. you are hilarious. How did Sister mom do singing time from the driver's seat? I can't handle all the funny things in this post.

mandy* said...

About every 5 or so of your posts I ask Mark, "Are Ryan and Jessica the most fun parents we know??!?" Seriously, you should win awards.

Jenibelle said...

Very cute. In our car we practice our snarky comebacks and whining. Your car sounds alot more fun. (and you drive and let your husband entertain...awesome)

Kristin said...

Wonderful! I so wish I could join your ward, though I'd probably be released too, I think Sis. Alligator is the best.

Jenna said...

So funny!

Ilene said...

Ah, I remember Sister Man's great skills with a puppet from his visits to nursery a couple of years back.

Now, admit it. You really do primary in the car because Sister Man is tired of manually rewinding all of the videos that you have already watched thus far on the road trip, huh?

Laurie said...

I'm pretty sure there's an opening in my ward for Sister Alligator.

Heidiram said...

You guys are so funny. You get bonus points for even attempting Primary in the car. Our car church experiences break down during the opening prayer because Mateo or Sarah have a stinkin' meltdown if the driver is NOT CLOSING HIS/HER EYES during the prayer.

Christie said...

A few questions before I consider joining your ward:

Do you still have cub scouts?

Is there no relief society?

Can testimony meeting be skipped in favor of giving Sister Alligator another chance?

Do we get snacks?

If the answer to the above is no, no, yes, and yes? I'll be transferring my membership ASAP.

Abbie said...

That is hilarious. You guys are awesome.

and YOU BETTER COME AND VISIT US IN OCTOBER! You can stay with us for FREE! - that's just for you, Ryan. I'm serious, the place is really big for Manhattan - you can have the second bedroom for your family which sleeps 3 1/2 adults comfortably with the air mattress and we can stick some kids in the closets (kidding). That would be so fun to get to see you and your family.

Also, we're planning a trip to Boston in October as well. I want to be there for Halloween. When will you be there?

Let me know your plans and we can PARTY in NYC!

Ya think this should have been an email?

Kimberly said...

You. are. amazing.
and hilarious.
can you please start another blog where you instruct on how to be a fun, spiritual, organized parent? I'll be the first to sign up. I'll bet Andrea would guest post on the love and logic instruction. And Paige on the how to have fun with the entire family instruction.

Camden said...

Very funny. Sister Alligator may be making a guest appearance at our primary soon...or in our van as we travel next Sunday. Oh wait, I'm not that funny. Rats. Plus, I don't get to drive so I'm the entertainer/snack-giver/DVD changer/ear-phone fixer/pacifier-finder/sibling-touching-fight-breaker-upper so I may not have the energy to do sharing and singing time.

Lauren in GA said...

This was so fantastic!!

I have to was time for Sister Alligator to be released...I mean, eating the baby's don't need a predator in your Primary. (Uh, that may have been in poor taste, huh?)


And funny ☺. I wish your van seated more than 7.

J'net said...

You better get a SCHOOL bus for the long line of kids who will line up to go to YOUR primary from now on!
You guys could just drive around blocks for 2 hrs. and teach Primary and then charge for bbsitting! ONLY let them pay you in advance so you won't be "money-changing" on the sabbath!?!?
I'm SURE you do your mother proud!! She seemed to always have the "fun" in her car too!! We just drove listening to Frank Sinatra and Paul Harvey...? OK, Barney too on some occasions!

Lauren in GA said...

I meant my joke may have been in poor taste...not your post...

Tammy said...

Miss you! how are my clothes working??

Nancy said...

You guys are great! I'm so glad I know you 'cause you give me some great ideas for how to be a better mom. Thanks!

Matthews Family said...

I wish I could have seen Sister Alligator be released. I can totally see Ryan doing this.

AMY said...

you are seriously clever... Anything to make that 10 hour drive go by faster, right? I'd the the irreverent alligator and all!

So, are you ready to brave the next drive! I'm trying to get myself AND the kids excited too. It's not as fun when you have kids who won't nap in the car :(

Jessica said...

You guys rock!

Brooke said...

I showed Carter your Sunday and he thought it was pretty funny. You might need to do a replay of it when you come out.

jessica said...

Poor Sister Alligator...Maybe she could be the ward clerk? Good Ward Clerks are hard to come by.

Hazen5 said...

You even make car rides sound fun! I think I would like to join your ward.

Meg said...

That is SO funny!

Linsey said...

Happy Birthday tomorrow!