Story Corner

(The Official Engagement picture)

I only have time for one part of my marrying Jessica story tonight, because five is too daunting and this one can really only be done justice by itself. Before I begin, I need to set the stage. I love my father in law (I love my mother in law too, but that really isn't germane to this story ... just making sure the bases are covered).


In some things I am very observant (i.e. plot in a story, scientific facts, peoples moods, etc.), however I like to think that in an effort to conserve brain function (I love conservation of almost anything) I unconsciously filter things that don't strike me as very important. Therefore, there are also areas where I am not very observant (i.e. what date various holidays and General Conference fall on, what people wear, other people's lives,etc.). I also never really knew that it is customary in our culture for the male to ask the female's father for her hand in marriage. I had never even heard of this. So I was shocked when Jessica came to me and told me that her dad was expecting me to ask him to marry her.


"HE IS!?!?"


"Yes."


"Why do I have to ask him?"


"It is just what people do when they are getting married and this is important to him."


"So if he says no then will you still marry me?"


"Of course I will."


"Then what is the point of asking him?"

This discussion continued until I finally understood the gravity of the situation and agreed to do it. I was kind of terrified to do it though. I felt so awkward. Now, knowing my Father in law better, I wish I could go back and do it again because I "get it" way better now. I think I could really wow him.


So I met him at work one day. I hadn't really thought through my sales pitch on this one so I started off by telling him how much I loved his daughter and all the reasons why I wanted to marry her.


After my first volley and a short pause I began to worry that maybe this exercise wasn't to test my devotion, but rather to qualify myself as a viable spouse. So I started in all over again this time emphasizing that I would take good care of Jessica and be nice to her and telling him that I thought I was smart and would end up providing well for her. The pause after this second attempt gave me time to wonder if I should be convincing Jessica's dad that she wanted to marry me.

So off I set for a third round. This time I went over the fact that I thought Jessica loved me too and wanted to be married to me and that I was confident this would be something she would want too ... etc. etc. etc. After this pause I was out of good lines of reasoning so I went back in with any random thought that could possibly help my case. Mercifully, it was at this point that my father in law interrupted me and began to manage the conversation much better than I had up to that point.

So as my father-in-law began to direct the conversation, he got very emotional. I didn't know this at the time, but he is an emotional guy. This behavior was very foreign to me. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I console him? Should I pretend like there weren't tears coming out of his eyes? I just didn't know. Then I started getting worried that maybe HE EXPECTED ME TO CRY TOO!?! Oh great ... now he'll never let me marry Jessica, because obviously I am an unfeeling oaf.

I managed to make it through an hour or so of this. And then I could tell things were wrapping up. I got the vibe that things were going well and I wouldn't have to elope after all, despite my stony heart. Towards the end my father in law paused and I could tell was getting ready to give me a compliment. It was then that the most memorable word he ever said to me were spoken;
"I want you to know that if I could choose anyone to marry my daughter, you would be second." He then kind of eased back in his chair to let the full weight of his words sink in.

It took me a second to gauge if he were joking, or being subtlety malicious, or what? I quickly realized that NO ... in fact he felt he had just paid me a very sincere compliment. It kind of made me laugh a little. I wasn't used to coming in second to anyone. I am not saying that I never lose at anything, but growing up in the "Haytown" ghetto, I was beloved by every parent I ever came across. I couldn't believe that I had just been ranked by my soon to be father in law number 2.

So I met up with Jessica and gave her a full debriefing. Towards the end I swore her to secrecy and told her what had happened with her dad. I found it funny and kind of ironic. Jessica went ape. Her promises to keep the discussion between me and herself immediately went out the window. And she stormed off to battle with her dad.

We have long since worked through that event. My father in law has bent over backwards to show me that he loves me and holds me in highest (or maybe it's second highest) regard.

**NOTE: Be sure to read Jessica's dad's rebuttal in the comments. He's anonymous and about 6 comments down.**