5:00 am: wake up grouchy because I know I have to clean the whole house, without Ryan, with 4 kids before my mom gets here at 5pm.
5:15 am: go to gym and stress out the whole time thinking about how impossible it will be to
clean the whole house, without Ryan, with 4 kids before my mom gets here 5pm.
6:30 am: Try to avoid husband because I don't have time to be sidetracked from the huge
job ahead.
6:45 am: 2 year old crawls out of crib and goes to wake up his sisters. Take this as a BAD
omen for the day's events. Place 2 year old back in crib with VERY stern reminders
that it is not time to wake up (himself or anyone else).
7:00 am: Remember that my mom, of all people, would not want me yelling at my kids all day
long in order to clean the house for her visit.
7:01 am: Say a VERY long prayer asking for help to not yell at kids all day.
7:10 am: Allow bad 2 year old to wake up. Plan to spend 1 hour feeding, dressing, etc. in order
to start clean up at 8:15 am.
9:30 am: Continue feeding, dressing, reading blogs (what? A person needs some recreation in her sad little housecleaning life.), etc.
9:32 am: Realize that prayers are answered when the nicest person in your whole town (Meghann) calls to see if she can take your kids at 3:00, because her husband is out of town and she is bored. Wonder why a person would want more kids when husband is gone, but say "yes" before she can finish her sentence. Begin your fantasy about how wonderful 3pm will be.
10:00 am: Draw out little job chart, for all the "helpers" in the house. Do not include Seth. He
is not a helper.
10:30 am: Begin speaking very loudly to people who are not doing their jobs at all. Change mind about prayers being answered.
11:00 am: Remember there is a park outing planned in your ward. Decide to change tactics. Tell children that if they complete one job by noon, we will go to park day.
11:15 am: Wonder if your husband is avoiding your calls because he is afraid he 1)will be begged to come home a little early to help, or 2) will have to listen to tirades about lazy kids and the disgusting toilets.
11:45 am: Begin to get very concerned that you ...er, I mean, the kids...will not get to play with their friends at the park if they do not get on the stick.
12:15 pm: Take the kids to the park...having decided they deserved a 15 minutes grace period.
1:00 pm: Take nap...do not feel guilty because you woke at, hello, 5 am to work out.
2:00 pm: Wake up and begin cleaning like a mad woman, listening to the funnest book on CD ever: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Pat self on back for starting worst job first: bathrooms.
2:15 pm: Stop to jot down all your blog ideas, realize you have a serious time-wasting problem. Resume bathrooms.
3:00 pm: Whistle happily as you drive to Meghann's house with the two youngest kids.
3:45 pm: Love Meghann. Also hope Mom runs in to freak August snowstorm so you have more time to clean.
4:00 pm: Be seriously amazed at what fabulous workers your two oldest children are.
4:45 pm: Return of the bad kids...beg them to just watch Elmo for 15 more minutes.
5:00 pm: Mom arrives. Windows, walls and stove still gross. The rest okay. Yummy dinner on table. Feel like superwoman. Plan to break arm before next house-cleaning day. Or get a real job.
8 comments:
Ahhh, you should give out consequences that you will never follow up on like I do. Here are some examples that were spoken today in my home:
"Get up and get dressed or you will go to school without breakfast."
"Get your backpack and get in the car or you will have to walk to school."
"Finish your homework, piano practice, and reading or I will send you to bed without dinner."
"Finish your dinner or you will not get to go swimming."
"Pick up 10 things and put them away before bed or I will not read you a bedtime story!"
And you thought I was a "nice" Mom. See, then I spend the rest of the night (once they're asleep) thinking about the better Mom that I could be. Oh well, there's always
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're only a day away!"
Oh heck, it's after midnight!
Also, send your Mom over here, I can use some incentive to clean my bathrooms!
Oh, Jessica, to be a little bug on the wall at your house. Excellent day in the life post. I especially liked that the actual cleaning didn't begin until 2:00. And I am impressed that your children are smiling in those pictures!
Seriously, why are you awake at 5 am if you don't need to be. That just goes against nature. I understand the whole work out thing, but 5 am??? That's why I schlepp all my kids to the workout kidcare because I am way too lazy to wake up that early, but then again it would be nice to get it out of the day and not have it take a chunk of my precious day. Maybe I'll try the 5 am work out. ya, right.
I love it! Now can I get your kids to come clean my house?! I'm trying to get my mom to come visit too -- I'm jealous of you! Have a great time with her! Oh -- sorry about the book I wrote on my tag. I couldn't help it -- we have such a long history with each other that I decided document it all and now I won't have to do that again. Miss you!
Wow, you are a perfect mother with perfect children. One time my girls cleaned their entire room themselves and I bought them webkinz. And I felt happy about it. Next raise you NEED to insist on a housecleaner. They are cheap and it raises your happiness quotient in amazing ways.
PS Why didn't Ryan clean the house on Saturday?
I can totally picture Jessica on this day, being stressed, procrastinating a bit, multi-tasking like crazy and totally being a patient, great mom the whole time. I love it. My solution to the messy house is a woman named Lupe. She is fabulous. I need to see if she can cook for me, walk my dog and eventually babysit?! How great would that be?
I can totally picture you, getting irritated and stressed, reminding yoru self to not, doing it again, reminding your self again, and all the while thinking about how you are going to blog about this. Even stopping to write ideas. I love it. I too recommend the house cleaner. I'm never mad at Mario for not helping because he pays for Liliana!!
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