Weekly Story Corner – Week 1

Disclaimer: Jessica is always begging me to post some of the stories that my kids harangue me to tell. The 2-9 year old crowd is not the most discerning audience. So please bear with me. In honor of Valentines Day I am starting a blog column that will run weekly with the Everyday Romneys because I know how much my wife will love it. My premier offering will cover how Jessica and I met and fell madly in love. This is not a tale for the faint of heart (Jessica’s fault – not mine), so I will continue this in Dickens episodic style over the next few weeks. This week will be part one of the too long tale. Enjoy, or skip – you decide.

The Journey of a Million Miles Begins with a Single Step

Chapter 1: First Steps

Mine was an arranged marriage. My family met Jessica before I even knew of her. They moved to her home town of Tracy, CA while I was away serving as a missionary. After returning home, they told me we would be perfect for each other. Jessica’s family and mine had broken bread (or more likely BBQ’d hamburgers) together as I was enjoying carp jerky, kidney paste or some other Russian delicacy. It would be another 14 months before I would even hear of her from them. Their meager descriptions piqued my interest. I wanted to know more of her.

They first showed her to me at the Tracy town 4th of July celebration, which is held on the football field at Tracy High School. This in and of itself was a bewildering festival of patriotism. I grew up in Hayward, (pronounced Haytown) CA. There were no large scale 4th of July celebrations in Haytown. Cinco De Mayo – YES, … 4th of July – NO.

Pointing 50 yards away someone yelled, “Ryan, look over there! That’s Jessica Sherrill.”
“Over there” were only about 5 thousand former, current and future Tracy Bulldogs.
“Where?”
“There (pointing into the masses) walking away from us”
“Is she the one in the blue shirt?”
“No! She’s the one in Jeans” (thanks, that narrowed it down to only about 3k people)
I soon had four family members and their friends trying to point her out to me all at the same time. Everyone saw her but me. Disappointed I resolved to meet her before she returned to BYU. I missed her by a day about a week later. My next 4-6 attempts to make contact were equally successful.

I was always informed of her in-town-ness a day too late. It became a comical discussion every time there was a purported Jessica sighting. As is usually the case in the Romney house, the humor got carried away, first she was just “Jessica”, then my “Girlfriend” then my “Wife” and before long it was the “Mother of My Children” all without ever meeting her.

Finally after Church one afternoon my brother walked in and said, “hey I saw your wife at church today,” I replied “Did you really see the mother of my children?” Past experience warned against delay so I picked up the phone and called the Sherrill’s who I was getting familiar with due to numerous near misses. This time she was actually home. I could hear that this call was causing no small stir among her family as well. So when she picked up the phone, my first words were, “If we are going to get married then we probably ought to go out on a date.” She was witty and casual and outdid the Jessica I had imagined for myself.

Friday came and I picked her up. This is the part of the story where I start cheering and hyperventilating for my kids when I retell seeing her for the very 1st time, because I can’t believe how gorgeous their mom was … and frankly still is. I took her to Fisherman’s Warf in San Francisco. I was worried we might run out of conversation since it takes at least an hour to drive from Tracy to San Francisco (one way). As a kid my teacher had me share a desk with the shyest girl in the entire 4th grade (Kim Chang) because I talked too much to everyone else she tried to sit me with. After talking at Kim for more than a week straight my teacher segregated me to a single desk in the back of the class. Jessica makes me look like Kim Chang. So needless to say, my main concern was completely unfounded.

Memorable moments include:

1. Jessica wasn’t quite ready when I arrived. She came out wearing two different shoes and asked me to pick which one I thought looked best.


2. Swapping worst-date-ever stories.


3. Me being dumb enough to tell her about a residual stomach issue from my time in the former USSR attempting to explain why I wasn’t starving but telling her I would be happy to take her anywhere she wanted to eat. She was so open and honest that I was sure she would tell me when she was hungry. I realize now that I created an awkward situation for her – sorry girlfriend. In my defense, I did bring up dinner multiple times. Knowing her like I do now, it would have been wiser share some fried food and chocolate over dinner. The resulting endorphins are always on my side.


4. Finding some space-age scale at a Fisherman’s Warf novelty shop and being instructed to turn around so I couldn’t watch while Jessica gauged its accuracy.


5. High intensity laughter and talking at all night.

From my perspective the date was perfect. From her perspective … well, I will cover that next week. I did tell my sister Heather the next day that I wanted to marry a girl just like Jessica. I was sold on Jessica from that very first date. Somehow, I played my cards just right with her. That stroke of luck will ever outweigh any bad juju that comes my way.

The 14 Days of Valentines

Okay...this is totally mom/wife overkill. I realize this. Don't do it. It takes lots of effort.

That said: everyone involves loves it. I like that they feel extra special during this holiday.

These are the daily "treats" the children got each day (you can biggify the pictures to see the phrases-my-pun-loving-mom-would-appreciate):

Day 1: The Heart Shirts

Day 2: Everyone's favorite brunch (ebleskivers)

Day 3: Everyone's favorite desserts (raspberry cake parfaits)

Day 4: Little strawberry seed-pots

Day 5: Fun cereal

Day 6: New socks

Day 7: I took each kid, alone, to lunch

Day 8: I did everyones' chores (both daily and weekend!)

Day 9: We picked and filled out their class Valentines

Day 10: New underwear...yippee!

Day 11: New DVD

Day 12: Candy

Day 13: Dollar Toys

Day 14: We'll have a Valentine breakfast...but if I upload it tomorrow, it will mess up my pictures. So I'm not.

Ryan gets some of his individual fun stuff. Things that are family-blog-appropriate include a lunch date, a massage, a carwash coupon, his favorite dinner, etc.

So there it is for posterity. Happy Valentines' Day!

Dream Girl

If I could have created my perfect oldest daughter, I would have made her pretty, smart, helpful, hardworking, spiritually sensitive, kind, talented, capable, articulate and fun.

I would have made...

Emma.

(9 years ago today, I got very, very lucky.)

Playtime

Why Ryan goes to church basketball:

Why I go to church basketball:

See...now what I can't figure out, is why the guys all act annoyed when they have to scoop a two-year-old out of the way while they are playing. It's hard to appropriately dissect the latest Jane Austen film by Masterpiece Theatre and watch our children at the same time. Geez.

Sunday Summary

Stuff that happened this week include:

Ryan put in the car stereo. I forgot to include this last week...and since the car stereo got stolen LAST CONFERENCE (hello! 4 months ago), it's a pretty big deal. Yay for Radio Disney and NPR while driving. (Although I will miss actually conversing with my clients while I taxi them around).

(Oh yeah, on a related note, while out with the missionaries, Ryan visited with a town policeman. He realized that we were the ones who had the Decorated Minivan stolen in October and told Ryan he'd seen that van driving around that night and wished he'd stopped it. Happily, though, he let us know that the guys were caught and are in jail currently. Nice to know.)

Janey was sick last week at church. I'm only including this one because of what her teachers said. Having warned them that she might be under the weather, after church they said, "We knew she was sick, because she didn't move AT ALL. And Jane usually wiggles the entire time." We should try to expose her to some bug every Friday night...it might make church much more pleasant.

Seth kept telling us all the stuff he was good at. All week long, we kept getting updates: "Mom, I'm good sing-oh", "Mom, I'm good cean-oh" (cleaner--ha.), "Mom, I'm good help-oh." So, he'll just let you know, should he excel at anything else.

We could see the grass in our backyard. Oh, you might not think that that is noteworthy, but all my Inland Northwest blog friends will vouch for me...we have not seen the ground (AS IT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY COVERED WITH FEET OF SNOW) since the day after Christmas. We feel like we should be wearing shorts, as it has risen to the balmy temperatures of 39 and 42 this weekend.

The Party-that-could-not-be-more-girly. My friend, Bethany, decided to have a Wedding Picture and Video party. So we all brought ours and enjoyed everyone's permy hair and skinny husbands and cheaply made videos (except Bethany's...show-off). We had wedding cake (cut here by our Life Partners, Meghann and Stacey), lots of yummy food and went home loving our husbands a little bit more.

Kids Dentist visit. Number one, I would like to refer you to the note-taking that I did, during the dental visit. Ryan was very pleased with the thorough nature of my report.

Number two, our kids have messed up teeth. Emma's completely missing one tooth (don't even think I could remember the special dental name for the tooth...oh wait, I'll just look at my notes! Lateral incisor, that's what's missing. That really came in handy.) and two of Gabe's teeth are re-sorbing (which I discovered is a nice word for rotting...which explains his hideous breath). The dentist assured me that I am not one of Those Parents who don't properly care for their children's oral hygiene, that it's from a trauma to the area. (And I didn't cause the trauma either, because I'm not one of Those Parents, either. Sheesh.) Jane's teeth are far too tight for her full set of adult teeth to come in and Seth has a Baaaad overbite. I'm currently taking donations for their orthodontia. Please comment and I will email you a tax-deductible donation slip. Grandparents...since they have your genes...I'm expecting the largest portion from you all. Thank you. (Dental procedures, as demonstrated below...don't come cheap.)

One Eternal Round

"Romney's residence Ryan speaking."

My Dad was crystal clear. That was the "proper" (Romneys are all about being proper) way to answer the telephone. The instruction was given dressed up as a Family Home Evening.

In my family we had some seriously fun family home evenings. We had backwards dinners (where the dishes and the participants came backwards), we had costume competitions, and we had an ice cream stairway to heaven lesson (and I sincerely doubt my parents were influenced in any way by Jimmy Page).

However, sometimes FHE was a big fat trick. The worst of all was the "Yard Party" that my parents announced a week in advance, refusing to provide any more details than "it's going to be fun!" For an entire week my eight year old mind conjured images of my Dad at the BBQ flipping burgers, with mom organizing games and pony rides and a clown to entertain me and my nieghborhood friends while that mean kid around the corner peered longingly over the fence feeling deep remorse for all past wrongs. Come to find out, a yard party consists of Dad barking out orders to seven children of various ages dragging an assortment of rakes, shovels, garbage bags and a lawn-mower around our back yard for the better part of two and a half hours.

Our phone etiquette FHE was not quite that bad. However, it did involve my dad role playing how the average phone call was handled by us kids. His mimicking was dramatized in such a manner that you couldn't help but feel shocked by the poor behavior he mirrored for you. He then followed up by telling us about his co-worker's Korean child (my dad could always find some kid from another country to use as an example of how we were failing to meet expectations) who answered the phone with perfect manners in the middle of studying twice as hard as we did. We were then subjected to rigorous telephone training.

While the aliterative nature of the telephone greeting was impressive, the training seemed a bit unnecessary and ... well ... kind of silly. That is until I had my own children answering the telephone in the most surprising ways.

-RING- ... "Who is this?" was one of the better greetings that our kids came up with. So after hearing Jessica's repeated complaints, I remembered how a Romney solves such a dilemna. We schedule something special - FHE. Actually in our case, we required 2 back-to-back FHE's. Last week we covered how to answer the telephone. This week - how to place a call. The components were simple:
1. Hello
2. This is (say your name)
3. Request the people you are calling for.
4. Talk or leave a message.
5. Goodbye

Things started out alright with Emma and Gabe. Jane wasn't quite as quick. Jessica took calls on the cellphone from the kids. I hung back to prompt them when they got stuck. Here's about how it went:

Dad: Dialing mom's cell for Jane
Mom: Hello?
Jane: hi, ummmm
Mom: Hello?
Jane: hmmmm ...
Dad: *whispering* who is this?
Jane: Who is this?!?!
Dad: *whispering* no ... who is this calling (pointing at Jane)?
Jane: Who is this calling?Dad: *whispering* no, no, no ... who are YOU (pointing intensely at Jane)?
Jane: Who are you!?

We couldn't quite get this call off the ground. We obviously need to call in the experts...even without the Dorothy Hamill haircut and the sweater polo-shirt...we think Grandma and Grandpa could whip Jane into shape. Look at how I turned out.

How to like your kids more

A few years ago, I was struggling with patience. (Good thing I got that licked.) I was losing it with my kids way too much and trying to figure out how to fix it. One night, as I was praying for help, this idea came to my mind:

I needed to put my kids on my list. (You'll remember my post about my list-making? Well, Heavenly Father knew about my list-making, too, and He knew that that would be the best way for me to focus on my kids better).

And so I did. I wrote on my list:

• 15 minutes with Emma
  
• 15 minutes with Gabe
  
• 15 minutes with Jane

(There was no Seth yet.)

I determined to spend 15 minutes a day with each of them, alone, interacting and focusing only on them. It sounds like a piddly amount, but the mothers out there know how hard it is to find that kind of time. Which is exactly why I needed to do it.

And I started liking them a little bit more. And being more patient.

Of course, like everybody (I hope), I let it slide. And then I start being more frustrated with my kids and wondering what the problem is. So I start praying again for help. And He tells me again:

"Hey remember the answer I gave you a few years ago. Still the same answer."

Starting last September, I've recommitted to it (due to another prayer like the one above). It has been the biggest blessing. Because I SOO like to check things off my list, I have found myself searching more for opportunities to spend time with each kid. There have been so many neat conversations and simply joyful interactions that I wouldn't have had, if I hadn't been trying to get my "10 min w/E".

Here are some things I do with them:

• Read scriptures 10 minutes in the morning (I switch off with Emma and Gabe, every other day)


• Read books of their choice


• Just lay on their bed and talk


• Help them finish a job and talk


• Ask one to help me make dinner


• Grab one to go to the store with me, if Ryan's home


• Sit on the floor and play with Seth's animal collection


• Sit on the floor and just watch Seth play with ANYTHING


• Color


• Build train tracks


• Play a game (Jane and Gabe are my game-players)


• Go for a walk

I DO NOT DO THIS EVERY DAY. I promise. But the days and weeks I do, I love them more. I want to be more patient and present, because I know them better. They are more content and happy because I've given them some Mommy time.

Remind me of this, please, the next time I post needing some advice about how to handle all these kids. I seem to have a tendency to forget.

In basketball, this would be called an AAIIR-ball.

I come from a family of sports-watchers. I have lovely memories of laying on the floor of our Fresno, CA rancher and cheering my little heart out for the Celtics, of sitting on my parents bed in Tracy, CA as my dad told me step by step why Tiger Woods' win was so amazing, of the golden years of the 49ers when our Mormon boy was leading the charge. Oh, and don't even get me started about the holy event that was the Olympics. Cancel all activities...the entire Sherrill family was busy for 3 weeks every 4 years.

That's why the following comment had me shaking my head in disbelief:

In response to a reference I made to Ryan about yesterday's cool Super Bowl, Emma said, "What's a Super Bowl?"

(bad enough, I realize, but just hang on...)

Gabe replied: "It's like the World Legends, except with football."


Now, I'm assuming he meant World Series. But for the oldest boy in my house to NOT HAVE ANY IDEA what the correct name of that major sports event was...well, it's a little embarrassing.

My husband is one of the most physically fit men I know. He runs, bikes, swims, plays sports any chance he gets and he includes our kids in all of these activities. Just don't ask him to watch any of these things on TV. The sound of the cheering plus the time-not-spent-being-productive...he just can't do it. Add in a "No TV on Sunday" rule and you get kids who don't know what the Super Bowl or the World Legend is.

Nate, Matt, Grandpa? You have work to do.

Sunday Summary

Here's a daily report:

Monday
The school district declared a snow day (the first one we've had in 12 years). We were excited and I just decided to dump all plans for the day and go sledding. The kids sledded for hours. We love Snow Days!

Tuesday
Emma got her new glasses, finally. She loves them and looks very cute in them.

Wednesday
After 5 buses slid off the road on Tuesday when the kids went back to school, they decided to call another Snow Day. Today, I decided that I had too much to do to be Snow Day Director and the kids would just have to amuse themselves.

Bad idea.

That's why I was very happy to dump my house-bound, bored, grouchy kids on Ryan and head off to this birthday dinner for Ashley. I stayed away for 3 hours, planning my return for about 45 minutes past bedtime. Thanks for having a birthday, Ashley, I needed it.
FYI: We no longer love Snow Days.

Thursday
Third Snow Day in a row. Since Plan "Let Kids Amuse Themselves" did not go so well, I reverted to Plan "Have Stuff to Do All Day So Kids Don't Make You Want To Move to San Diego....Where You Have No Snow Days Or Children."
We went to WalMart (always a fun destination):

We met Ryan at Costco for lunch (see kids watching the Costco TVs on the handicap riders):

We also went swimming at our gym for hours (sorry, no picture) and then watched TiVo'd American Idol until it was time for bed.
Much better day.

Friday
KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! And also wear their Valentine's Day shirt (as per Holiday Attire Rules).

We also attended some church ball (where Ryan scored his one and only basket of the season) and went out to dinner with friends afterward.

Saturday
Oh, we had another Dance Dance Revolution Party. Are we complete nerds or what? The Albrechts called and invited themselves over for one (which is less tacky when you consider that last year we invited ourselves and 6 of our friends over to their house for movies) cause they were jealous about our last week's bash. We played DDR and Singing Star until 12:30 a.m. Which is why Ryan kept falling asleep in church today. But at least we got lots of new songs unlocked on our game (thanks to Aric, the new Didder rising star). You need priorities.

The Romneys know how to PAAAR-TAY.